Category: Personal

After interviewing for the Atlanta GM opening and being left twisting in the wind over the hiring of Marvin Lewis, Rich McKay took an apology and about $14 million over six years to stay in Tampa Bay. Hey, you give me $2.3 mill a year and a coach like Jon Gruden and I’d probably suck it up too. Meanwhile, Gruden retained the entire holdover defensive coaching staff led by DC Monte Kiffin and rumors have brother Jay Gruden moving over from the Arena Football League to take an offensive assistant slot, perhaps even OC although Jon will call the plays as he did in Oakland.

The situation in Oakland is, shall we say, fluid. That is, there are lots of rumors and little hard fact except that whoever comes in as coach will have to keep all the assistants. Since one rumor is the new coach will be current OC Bill Callahan and the other strong one is Bill Tuna, I mean Parcells, that probably won’t be a big hurdle. Given Al Davis’ history, the team may not rush to hire anyone before the free agent period and draft combine happen on March 1. With either of those guys as coach and the two extra draft picks from Tampa Bay, one has to think the 2002 Raiders will easily surpass this past season’s ten wins.

Let’s start out by saying that this is a James Bond movie, released in 1967. But Bond is not played here by Sean Connery, the vastly underrated George Lazenby, Roger Moore, Timothy Dalton, or Pierce Brosnan. Instead there are many agents named James Bond, although the real one is David Niven and there is a Jimmy Bond, James’ nephew, played by Woody Allen. James has a daughter, Mata Bond (the luscious Joanna Pettit), Moneypenny is here (the luscious Barbara Bouchet), a very young Jacky Bissett as Miss Goodthighs, and Ursula Andress (luscious and also the original Bond girl in Dr. No) are just some of the luscious women. Have you picked up on my vibe that this is like no other Bond film? With five directors and even more writers, Casino Royale is all over the place and at the end just gets ridiculous–I am not surprised at all that Joseph Heller is one of the writers. Peter Sellers is in here somewhere as a baccarat expert who plays one of the Bonds and takes on the original novels villain (Orson Welles as a SMERSH director). I laughed, this film has an amazing melange of ’60s and British humor, with some Woody slapdash thrown in. Robert von Dassanowsky has an interesting article, Casino Royale at 33, that gives a great deal of the history and reaction to a movie that was quite controversial at it’s release: “It’s really a courtly epic in ’60s drag, kids!” Recommended!

Okay, this sounds really strange, I know, but I’m watching the E! True Hollywood Story episode on the greatest drug comedy duo of all time and one of the first things they bring out is Cheech’s dad. Who is a retired Los Angeles policeman. Talk about the minister’s daughter! So how did this Chinese guy from Canada and Mexican from East L.A. meet? Cheech was in Canada dodging the Draft (this was the late ’60s) and wandered into a strip club run in Vancouver by Chong’s family. Not that Chong was some innocent either, he was 30 years old at this point and already had three daughters by three mothers, the most recent mother a 15 year old.

Apparently I am far from alone in not having a good experience with Europcar since Joe Santilli has gone to the trouble and expense of putting up a website on the topic. His story is unpleasant and he’s clearly Googled the subject to come up with a list of other people who’ve complained. That’s how he found my little story, which was included on his list. On the other hand, as a reasonably large firm, one has to wonder if less than 20 complaints are all that significant and mine wasn’t all that much of a horror story (at least the inconveniences from Europcar weren’t).

Arnold was looking to get back his big action movie following after the lackluster results of The 6th Day and The End of Days with Collateral Damage. Frankly, 1994’s Junior and True Lies were his last really successful movies (and True Lies 2 is his next movie to be released). With some strange luck, Schwarzenegger made this movie about terrorism coming home to America before Sep. 11, which ought to have been a bigger help at the box office than it has been. I guess that’s because the movie basically stinks.

Arnold is his usual self and the scenario seems open to the possibility of a taught, tense movie but director Andrew Davis seems to have blown his creative wad with The Fugitive and, to a lesser degree, Under Siege. He reuses too many elements from those movies, most noticeably the jump from a height through water; in The Fugitive Harrison Ford jumped off a dam and here Schwarzenegger jumps through a nasty waterfall. Elias Koteas is decent as the asshole CIA agent but Davis and first time scriptwriters David and Peter Griffiths made him an idiot in the end. Francesca Neri plays her Selena about as well as one could ask but again the script takes her in a strange, unbelievable turn at the end. Of course, the little deaf terrorist’s son bonds instantly with Arnold, which also is completely believable. Let’s just say that Collateral Damage has enough plot holes to drive a small truck through. Not recommended.

At a press conference today with President Bush, Chinese president Jiang Zemin claimed that China Has Freedom of Religion. Yeah right. Jiang claimed to have read many different religious texts, but I think the one he has in mind in this instance is Orwell’s 1984.

Daniel Quinn is a thinker who apparently inspires many with his ideas but after reading Beyond Civilization: Humanity’s Next Great Adventure I still am clueless as to what he intends “The New Tribal Revolution” to be. Quinn spends nearly 200 pages describing the need for change in how we live, before we destroy the biosphere, yet he never really gives us a picture of what change, or changes, are needed. The closest he comes is to tell us to reject our current hierarchical civilization, which is perpetuated by the powerful meme that it is the only right way to live, in favor of a sort of tribal existence. But not in the older ethnic tribes, instead in occupation-based tribes. Except that he can only think of a few businesses which are truly amenable to this form of organization. And tribe members need to keep paying taxes and doing other things to support the current hierarchy. Not recommended, not until Quinn comes up with something a little more concrete.

Yes, for thos of you keeping count, this was my third viewing of The Fellowship of the Ring and I enjoyed it as much as the first two. What an incredible movie! I was able to focus on details that slipped by in my eagerness to see everything in the previews views. Jackson does some excellent foreshadowing and mirroring, for example. Aragorn/Boromir, Frodo/Sam, Frodo and Sam/Pippin and Merry, Aragorn/Uruk-Hai (more of this relationship in the next two films will provide lots of fireworks and excitement) are just some of the relationships Jackson highlights to give us depth of character. If you haven’t seen it yet, get off your ass and go!

In a unanimous decision today, the U.S. Supreme Court ruled that kids can be embarrassed in class without opening the school to a lawsuit. Thankfully this case didn’t churn up on politics! A mother in Tulsa was pissed one (or more) of her kids was embarrassed in front of a classroom by having a quiz or piece of homework graded by another student–the kids swapped papers and graded each other based on answers from the teacher. What a horrific life experience for the child. Looking for anyway to get back at the school, she grasped on a federal law that prevents any school records form being released without parental consent. Her lawyers argued that by grading the papers, the students all became agents of the school and therefore subject to the law. What really drives me up the wall is that the mother who sued, or whoever was footing the bill here, was willing to spend the money to take the case to the highest court in the land. Of course, the school district had to spend money too, which now will not be available for something useful such as actually educating the children.

A friend passed along an interesting email and I turned into What To Do If You Lose Your Wallet. Useful information.

Details are thin at the moment but the Associated Press is reporting a stunner in Tampa Bay: the Buccaneers have signed Raiders coach Jon Gruden to a five year deal. The Glazer brothers met yesterday with 49ers coach Steve Mariucci but were unable to make a deal; money probably wasn’t the sticking point since the rumors pegged the offer as seven years at $6 million per year, more than anyone else in the league is getting. Apparently, Mooch really doesn’t want to move his family out of their showcase Los Gatos home because the local paper (the unlinkable SJ Merc) has run a number of articles showing that the 49ers executives aren’t all that sad at the prospect of losing him. For example, they won’t give him an extension on a contract that only pays $2 million a year. I know that sounds like a lot but not when Spurrier is now getting $5 million and Mike Holmgren $4 million. This ought to be an interesting off-season in the Bay Area. Next question: who will replace Gruden? And is Gruden also being named general manager, freeing Rich McKay to go to Atlanta?

Noon Update: ESPN TV is reporting that the Gruden deal is for $17.5 million total, $3.5 million per year, and he will be the coach only. Still, Rich McKay is seriously unhappy at the way he was treated during this coaching search and wants out. Will the Glazers heal the illwill and let him leave without a fuss? Merrill Hoge thinks Gruden is a brilliant choice who will be able to adapt his offensive scheme to the strengths of his players. Look for an offense that is mainly smash mouth (with those two great RBs) and knows how to stretch the field (calling Keyshawn).

12:30 update: Compensation – the Raiders will receive first- and second-round draft picks in 2002, a first-round pick in 2003, and a second-round pick in 2004, no cash or players. Merrill Hoge thinks Gruden is a brilliant choice who will be able to adapt his offensive scheme to the strengths of his players. Look for an offense that is mainly smash mouth (with those two great RBs) and knows how to stretch the field (calling Keyshawn).

Robert DeNiro plays himself, or at least his standard character, this time as a mentor to Ed Burns, who plays the DeNiro character from Backdraft in 15 Minutes. Bobby is a media-friendly, famous Manhattan homocide cop and Ed is (if you didn’t get the reference) an FDNY arson investigator who hook up when two people turn up fead in a burnt to ashes apartment. Melina Kanakaredes and Vera Farmiga play the respective eye candy, though at least Farmiga’s character does help with the plot; Kanakaredes is about as necessary to the film as Angela Basset in DeNiro’s Summer 2001 flop The Score.

Karel Roden is a twisted brilliance, though, as the Czech madman who comes to America to reclaim his share of an old job. Oleg Taktarov is his partner, who aspires to fame as an actor and director (interesting inside commentary on the idea that every actor in Hollywood really wants to direct), but is mainly useful for holding the camera and having the idea to film their adventure. Writer/director John Herzfeld, whose earliest IMDB credits are as an actor, spent most of the last 25 years doing those jobs on sickly sweet movies (Travolta/Newton-John in Two of a Kind, The Ryan White Story) before breaking out a few years ago with the nasty 2 Days in the Valley.

Hertzfeld had a decent idea here, poking a stick at the intersection of tabloid media obsession with violence in exchange for ratings and holes in American law that sometimes permit the guilty to go free (such as the Twinkie defense). However, he just doesn’t bring it off, especially when he kills off DeNiro at the end of Act 2. Not recommended.

My father and I were discussing a Straight Dope article on Yiddish and had the following conversation via email, one line per email. I think this helps explain my sense of humor (D are my Dad’s lines, B are mine):

D: Very scholarly and essentially correct.

B: Essentially? What mistakes does it make?

D: None that I could see. It’s just a way of phrasing it.

B: Ah, such lovely precise language!

D: Precise is for pedagogues.

B: Also for communicating clearly and accurately. And that would be precision, not precise!

D: Don’t be so picky!

B: Why?

D: Why not?

B: Precision is useful because it conveys the information accurately.

D: As long as it isn’t overemphasized or obsessed upon.

B: I don’t think that one mention is too much.

D: I forgot what we were originally discussing.

B: Your comment on the Yiddish article.

D: Yes, but I forget what it was.

B: You suggested the article was (and I’m paraphrasing here) less than completely correct. When I asked what specifically was wrong, you replied that there really wasn’t anything wrong with it.

D: I didn’t say it was in any way incorrect. I said it was essentially correct, which means that there’s nothing wrong with it.

B: No, your phrase implies that there is something not quite right with the article.

D: I know what I meant, which, unless you have hitherto undisclosed ESP, you couldn’t possibly have.

B: You may have meant what you are thinking, I am not disputing that, but the words you used convey a commonly-accepted meaning. So again, your response was imprecise.

D: I am in total disagreement with your interpretation, which is, after all, only your opinion.

B: I see that even at your supposedly mature age, you still can’t admit to minor errors. Oh well.

D: I can’t?

B: Apparently not. So sad…

D: It’s amazing how mistaken one son can be!

B: Yes but not in this instance.

D: That’s another example of how mistaken you can be! It’s sad.

B: Sad is one way of characterizing it. Mistaken, though, is terribly wrong.

D: You keep persisting with the same error. I’m so disappointed!

B: And who is responsible for your feelings? You are, so don’t go putting them off on me.

D: Don’t put that on me, buddy! At almost 41 years old, you’re entirely responsible for yourself.

B: You misunderstood me, as usual. I am saying you are responsible for your own emotions! Such as being sad.

D: Well, of course, but you need to express yourself much more clearly.

B: Hmm, I believe this is where we came in.

This was 34 emails for those of you still reading. 34!

Well, after much indecision, we finally decided to see A Beautiful Mind tonight and I’m really glad. The trailers just didn’t attract me and the subject matter, a man’s battle against mental illness, hit a little too close to home. Still, after most of my family and friends saw it and gave glowing reviews, the time arrived. Apparently I’m not the only one to feel this way because the showing (admittedly, prime time on a Saturday night) was sold out.

Russell Crowe is magnificent and Jennifer Connelly is superb as the woman who sees more than just the social ineptness and around the damaged mind–and no doubt, she is amazingly gorgeous–but the performance I truly appreciated was Paul Bettany as Princeton roommate and imagonary friend Charles Herman. Ron Howard is nearly invisible as the director, which I say as a commendation, since one never feels manipulated into some emotional reaction.

This week Paypal went public and rocked Wall St. by gaining over 50% in the first day of trading. But then I read about Ev’s experience this week and the even more absurd stories at NoPayPal. And a number of states, including Louisiana, are pursuing them for providing banking services without a banking license. So one has to wonder where the company’s true longterm prospects lie. Meanwhile his need to convert to credit card acceptance and processing is displacing Ev’s efforts from updating the Blogger API and the new version of Blogger, dammit!

Vivian took care of your host with this great Liverpool FC banner for Valentine’s Day:

Steven, writing in USS Clueless, takes us inside going to War in Iraq in a multi-part series. Powerful and insightful, this is not an essay about whether or not America ought to get into this fight nor is it about the politics; rather a consideration of the technical aspects of how our military might go about it. In case anyone was wondering, this will not be another Afghanistan: “Each of the Republican Guard divisions has more armor and artillery than existed in all of Afghanistan prior to our involvement there.” Steven does point out the quite important fact that such a war will not really be won or lost on the battlefield. There’s just no way Iraq could win the fighting but might be able to do enough (including the use of devastating chemical weapons) to win by making Americans sick enough (at the sight of large numbers of body bags) to pull out before Saddam is wrecked.

p.s. USS Clueless has a high quality discussion forum, so don’t miss these related threads: Iraq and Iraq countering U.S. air power.

Okay, I’m just sitting here surfing the web and I see on ESPN that now the Buccaneers have asked the 49ers permission to talk with Steve Mariucci. Man did I get a good laugh on that! Our lovable Mooch has two years left on his contract and so signing him would cost the Bucs something. Al Davis drove a hard deal, too hard, to let Gruden out of one year of a contract, so why would John York and Terry Donahue let their coach go for less? And why would Mooch want to go to Tampa Bay anyway? I can only think of two reasons, neither compelling: to get away from Terrell Owens and to be both coach and general manager. TO may be a little bit strongwilled but he sure delivers a lot more than Tampa Bay’s star wideout, Keyshawn Johnson, and the 49ers have a quarterback who can pass the ball too. True, with the 49ers, Mariucci will probably need to wait years, maybe four or five, before Donahue would be willing to give up the GM slot but one would think that a bigger say for the coach in personnel matters would suffice in the near term. Tampa Bay will be needing a new GM shortly though, that much is clear after Rich McKay interviewed for the Atlanta GM opening. Come on guys, I already made it clear why you should hire me for the job. And I promise to stop laughing as soon as I get that contract in hand!

Update 10 p.m.: The 49ers gave the Bucs permission to talk to Mariucci, saying that Tampa Bay’s willingness to name him coach and general manager (as predicted above) “because this is an opportunity that is unique.” A decision is due early next week.

Or perhaps most people never did trust them, but this eWeek article, Shaving Milliseconds Per Hit Adds Up to Real Money, doesn’t even appear to be a rewrite of a company press release. Unless of course RouteScience has come up with such amazing new technology that not a single person will find even a scintilla of something worth criticizing.

Normally I would just link this column in LinksBlog but Paul Krugman has something to important to miss in Blunt Question, Blunt Answer. He attends a luncheon with Arab newspaper editors in London and is asked “Are Jews in the media behind the campaign to smear Saudi Arabia and Islam?” Krugman turns the question on his head points out that not only is there no conspiracy but instead the question is asked because the Arabs are deluding themselves. Bravo!