Weird Spam: A former dictator’s family wants my help

You have to wonder why some people bother with this stuff. I mean, sending email in all caps went out of fashion about 30 seconds after the first such one was sent. But “MRS. MARIAM SESE-SEKO WIDOW OF LATE PRESIDENT MOBUTU SESE-SEKO OF ZAIRE?” (if she doesn’t know, I sure don’t) wants me to help her and her children outwit the terrible bankers and police of Western Europe: “I HAVE DEPOSITED THE SUM OF ONE HUNDRED MLLION UNITED STATE DOLLARS (US$I00,000,000,00.) WITH A SECURITY COMPANY, FOR SAFEKEEPING. THE FUNDS ARE SECURITY CODED TO PREVENT THEM FROM KNOWING THE CONTENT. WHAT I WANT YOU TO DO IS TO INDICATE YOUR INTEREST THAT YOU WILL ASSIST US BY RECEIVING THE MONEY ON OUR BEHALF.” But I have no interest sorry, even though I could sure use a healthy cut of that kind of gash. And what are “OUT MODALITIES” anyway? Uh oh, me and my big blabber mouth: “MAY I AT THIS POINT EMPHASISE THE HIGH LEVEL OF CONFIDENTIALITY, WHICH THIS BUSINESS DEMANDS, AND HOPE YOU WILL NOT BETRAY THE TRUST AND CONFIDENCE, WHICH I REPOSE IN YOU.” Sorry, guess your secret is out now, but you shouldn’t have trusted a guy with a weblog!