Kdb: Time for a new SQL?

Relational databases are over 20 years old–think back to IBM’s System R in the late ’70s–and even SQL92, the most commonly used and supported version of the standard, is closing in on 10. But volumes of data are growing at an ever-increasing volume and Kx Systems thinks it has an answer, particularly for data mining operations. InfoWorld’s James Borck takes a look at Kdb in Database optimization techniques in Kdb could help ease the enterprise data crunch. Kdb is free to download and evaluate, but I couldn’t find a mention of pricing for production use on the Kx website.

Evolution coming to microchips?

Adrian Thompson at the University of Sussex in England has developed computers that improve themselves by coupling evolutionary algorithms and field programmable gate arrays (FPGAs are microchips whose functionality can be varied by software, as opposed to, say, a dedicated chip like an Intel CPU on which all the functions are hardwired). More cool stuff!

Another L&O beauty hits the bricks

What is it about top TV show Law and Order and it’s assistant district attorneys? In 10 years, the show has gone through at least five of them. Yesterday, Angie Harmon became the latest to leave “Law & Order.” Fortunately, the show itself rolls on, as good as ever and has already been renewed until 2005.

Today’s Movie: Mission to Mars

Well, if you’re looking for a half-hearted remake of 2001: A Space Odyssy, then Brian DePalma’s Mission to Mars. I spent two hours watching it, but I don’t think I can recommend you do the same. Gary Sinise and Don Cheadle are great, as usual, but the story itself doesn’t get the job done. For something better by Sinise, try the Steven King miniseries The Stand or Forest Gump; for something better by DePalma try Scarface or Carrie.

from the Bad Joke Dept.

This is very unusual for me. I’m not generally inclined to pass on unproven financial advice. But yesterday, I heard from a drug rep for Glaxo who told me that they are on the verge of launching a new herbal remedy that they think will take the market by storm. This drug sounds so promising that I want to suggest to my friends and family that they consider buying stock in the company. The drug is called “Ginko Viagra,” and its function is to help you remember what the fuck you are doing.

Borrowed from the haha – no, serious weblog.

Teenagers, get ready to jump for joy

Biotech firm Corixa announced they have decoded the genes for acne and aim to develop vaccine. Wow, this would have been great 25 years ago but better late than never. Zits have been the teenager’s bane forever and here’s proof biotech may actually do something useful.

Just because you can doesn’t mean you should

Apparently, Geoffrey Osowski and Wilson Tang didn’t pay attention to the recent Citibank commercials and will have to pay the price after being indicted for transferring stock of Cisco, their employer, into their own accounts to the tune of over $6.3 million. Gee, people won’t be suspicious when the stockprice is tanking an you show up at work wearing a $44,000 diamond ring and driving a $52,000 Mercedes.

Where are the Chinese taking us?

Even though the crew scurried to destroy data of ‘crown jewel’ on the US spyplane that emergency landed in China, the Chinese may have advanced their tech several years by stripping the plane. Of course, that act and holding the crewmembers hostage violates several international treaties that both China and the US have signed.

Let’s face it, wars have started over less. Now, China may put the plane’s crew on trial for espionage, something the US (and certainly the Bush administration rightwingers) cannot allow.

Webvan: Closer to the edge

More bad news for Webvan as it inches towards the big black hole: Webvan Gives the Word: Uh-Oh. In its annual report filed Monday with the Securities and Exchange Commission, Webvan said it needed a substantial infusion of new capital to stay in business past the fourth quarter of this year. I’m sure the line to pony up goes around the block, eh?

And what about the $1 Billion in bonds?

Last year, before the bomb exploded on NASDAQ, Webvan issued $1B in bonds to finance construction of new regional warehouses as part of their attempt to beome a player in the grocery business. Now, however, auditor Deloitte & Touche sees Webvan nearing end of road. Would this be the biggest direct loss caused by a dotcom?

How books get made into movies, or not

Publishers Weekly has an excellent, though long, article on how the book into movie behind the scene process really works. There’s lots of money thrown around, but mostly everyone’s in fear for their jobs.