BillSaysThis

You just hate to see a perfectly good Rolls Royce destroyed. Crushed to nothingness by a dozen other cars. And then explode in a huge fireball when the gas tanks from all of them are lit up. But that’s just one of the many thrills in this totally silly, totally fun little movie that’s basically a chance for Ron Howard to learn his directing chops.

1977’s Grand Theft Auto was Howard’s first feature film directing assignment, made while on a break from Happy Days and a companion piece to his acting stint in Eat My Dust from the year before. They were more or less a package deal Howard made with all-time B movie producing champ Roger Corman. Howard knew he wanted to direct, not act, and Corman was always happy to give nearly anyone a chance to write, direct, or act in one his films–they were made for relative pennies, so why not?

Howard followed GTA (and you have to wonder if this wasn’t some part of the inspiration for the vastly annoying videogame series of the same name) with a trio of TV movies, while he was still stuck in the TV show, but then he got the chance to direct Nightshift and he essentially never acted again. If you’ve seen him on an awards show or interview, you can understand why. He just does not make a good looking bald man!

The film. Essentially a sequence of car chases, car crashes, explosions, and bad puns set off when Howard’s character, Sam Freeman, elopes to Las Vegas with Paula (Nancy Morgan, John Ritter’s ex-wife), daughter of millionaire and gubenatorial candidate Bigby Powers. Daddy is not happy, and neither is snobby rich boy Collins Hedgeworth, who thinks he’s engaged to Paula. They set out after the lovebirds and each starts offering big cash rewards for assistance in stopping them from reaching the wedding chapel. Every idiot and his brother get involved and the chase gets deeper and deeper. Of course Ron finds parts for his brothers Clint and Rance (Rance and Ron even wrote the script).

Not exactly sophisticated humor but a fun way to spend an afternoon.

Recommended

Last week I wrote about preparing for a very interesting job opportunity. Would have been my first time working directly in sales, for a world class company no less. Finally heard back today and, you may have already guessed, the interviewers did not think I met the needs of the position. They are, of course, wrong but the decision is theirs. So I’m still looking. Keep a good thought.

In contrast to the Glamorama review I posted yesterday, some things are simple and straightforward in life. For example, not every person who asks someone s/he knows is entitled to get a reference; the referrer is entitled to choose whether the person requesting meets whatever criteria they have for such a favor. And make no mistake, providing a reference is a personal favor. There are people who have asked me to be available and whenever possible I’ve agreed because I’ve generally been asked by people I respect; when this is not the case I (try to) politely decline.

Some people, apparently, have a different conception of the whole matter. A bunch of right wing religious nuts Christian religious foundation is helping a student at Texas Tech University sue a biology professor there because professor Michael Dini refused to write a reference for medical school. The professor, who posted the criteria for getting letters on his personal web page, requires that students “may not seek a letter of recommendation from him if the student does not truthfully and forthrightly believe in human evolution.”

Uh oh! Oh my god! Literally. So when a student who believes in the Biblical account of creation felt deprived and (what else?) discrimintated against because he disagreed with the professor, he did what any good American would do: he took legal action (Justice Department probes Texas Tech professor’s policy). Backed by a religious freedom organization that calls Dini’s policy “open religious bigotry,” Micah Spradling complained to the Department of Justice that Dini was not allowed to use such a basis for deciding who would get a letter necessary for admission to medical school.

The Texas Tech school newspaper picked up on this battle a few months ago: Evolution, religion conflicting theories.

What a load of hooey! And the school is standing behind him, bravo for them, especially in a state like Texas where disagreement is considered a sin. Personal rights are held in very high esteem there, especially the right to own a gun, but just try and stand up to the religious right for a quick example of how those rights evaporate in certain eyes. One really wonders why the federal government would deem it appropriate to get involved but then, look at who we have for president and where he stands on religious freedom.

In 1998, Bret Easton Ellis (Less Than Zero, American Psycho) published Glamorama. Probably. I read it, I think, but I find certainty difficult. There is something here on the desk next to my PC that looks like a book and has 543 pages bound between the covers. My state of mind, though, says don’t be so sure. In other words, the very model of Post Modernism.

In this book(?), we follow Victor Ward (nee Johnson), model, club proprietor, son of a US Senator, terrorist, actor. But is he doing all that we read or acting in a film? And is he even him, or an actor playing a role, since throughout we encounter other characters who claim to have been in Victor’s presence at times and places Victor has not been. Takes awhile but eventually our protagonist refers to a script and later to a film crew and director with whom he actually talks. The chapters are numbered but,, unlike most books, count backwards, and later sections of the book just move to different points in time and disregard all that has gone before (unless we’re suddenly seeing the other Victor).

A good read, though I had trouble reading more than, say, 20 pages at a time until nearing the end. In this mirror world, in New York City, London, Paris, celebrities and designer brands mingle with high fashion models using their careers as a cover for launching terrorist attacks with no underlying philosophy. The terrorism is as empty as a Calvin Klein underwear ad, in other words. The actors consume mass quantities of alcohol and drugs at party after fashion show after dinner at trendy restaurant, then have sex, or sometimes argue or have their passion frustrated, before heading off to destroy a landmark Paris hotel or sadistically murder someone whose only sin is love. An interesting contrast, stylistically and mileu-wise, from American Psycho.

Recommended if you can take it

Yeah, Hussein has to go. The inspectors had their time and Iraq had the specified chance to comply with 1441. Time’s up.

But the domestic portions of the speech were just sad. As if dividends were the only place government took our money twice. Just a gimme to his patrons. Two sentence mention of his plans to give other patrons whatever they want on the environment. And so much for last year’s promise that any deficits from his tax cut plans would be small and short lived; now we’re looking at $300 million or more per year for over a decade.

And what’s with all the interruptions for applause every other 30 seconds? Isn’t the speech long enough as it is?

Feh!

A quick laugher in the morning business section today. Coca-Cola’s Fountain Division, which handles the company’s interaction with restaurants and such, is exploring the possibility of launching a line of hot coffee to be sold as their sodas are today: as liquid concentrate with (hot) water added when the drink is served. OMG! Puh-lease! I’m not close to being a coffee snob but this would just be sad. Isn’t it enough for Coke to dominate soda, water (Aquafina is their brand), and juices? If you see a brand of coffee called Viaa Cafe you’ll know the execs have gone deep into the madness.

Usually the NFL puts a moratorium on announcement of coaching changes during the week leading up to the Super Bowl. Since that’s over, so is the silence. The Detroit Lions didn’t wait long, just a few hours, to announce that Marty Mornhinweg was not going to get the chance to stick around. Instantly, the Net became full of rumors that recently ex-49ers coach Steve Mariucci would be named to the job.

Matt Millen, team president and himself the subject of termination speculation, said there are “a bunch of candidates that we’ve discussed and we’re comfortable with” but no one name is being given for now. Amusingly, Millen had only weeks ago announced the Mornhinweg (whose previous job was offensive coordinator for the Niners) would indeed return for a third season despite a 5-27 track record. Pressed at the news conference to explain the sudden change, Millen finally stammered that “It’s a process that’s always changing. You always have to look at everything and everybody out there.” So expect a fairly quick announcement in the Motor City.

The other major vacancy is, of course, Mooch’s old job. The 49ers haven’t said much, although they are interviewing at least two minority candidates, but Bill Walsh has denied any interest in coming back at age 71. The two minority candidates are Jets DC Ted Cottrell and Patriots DC Romeo Crennel; other candidates include current Niners DC Jim Mora, Jr., though star defensive lineman Dana Stubblefield said last week that he could not support Mora, and Eagles OC Brad Childress. Walsh though the new man would be introduced by this coming weekend, so we’ll (hopefully) soon find out.

I’m not a hard core MS basher, for sure, but the huge Slammer worm that ran around this weekend (and will possibly reach new levels of disruption tomorrow), which takes advantage of a known SQL Server security hole, is not the only problem facing the Redmond giant this weekend. There must be a problem with their in-house mail servers as well because I’ve gotten over a dozen notification emails for Microsoft Security Bulletin MS02-061. Which is trying to tell subscribers to the Microsoft Product Security Notification Service where to get the (long available) patch for the SQL Server problem. Annoying and laughable, too bad.

Sadly, the great singer/songwriter has brain cancer (as announced back in September) and it’s not in remission or miraculously cured. I’ve already written my tribute to him (Getting ready to say goodbye to Warren Z) but most of the major rock writers are taking their turns too. After watching the sad results of the game today, and waiting for Alias, I scanned the NY Times and found this touching paen to Zevon by Jon Pareles: In His Time of Dying. Of course plenty of biography but lots of good passages about what Zevon’s doing in his final days; one can only hope he makes it a little while longer, at least, to finish this last recording.

Go with it, because I’ll be back

With the twins! We got a little lost–

Oh come on!–get out of the crease.

We’re gonna have to put you back in.

You are on your own. Complete this mission.

Drop your weapons…hold your fire.

Maybe we’ll have better luck next year…

One stifling defense!

Is it gold? Go for the gold

I’m running out of time

When we try cases it gets ugly, are they miracles?

Experience.

Chasing through backyards and over hedges

Won’t make it any better. Thundering hooves, running, rumbling

Craggy mountains, rocks strewn about

Transcend the ordinary. Baby we’ll never go back.

You keep up the good work, No Doubt

I know one thing for sure, you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry

Make it! Hit it! We are soldiers

Believe it!

Hey Oh My Oh My

I am proud to be an American

One wet one dry

Can I get just one?

Yo!

They slit my throat–it’s the money–

Two is too many

Another reason!

Last year, I blogged my opinion on the Super Bowl commercials so this year I thought I’d try something a little different. The poem above is composed of one line, one word, or maybe a bit more, from just about all of the commercials shown in the first quarter of the game. Some of the commercials made even taking one word difficult. An experiment but came out interesting, I think.

From 2001, Kill Me Later stars Selma Blair as a morose, suicidal banker. Finally fed up with the total absence of love or pleasure, she heads to the roof of her office building to jump off. Instead, Max Beesley races up to the roof ahead of the cop whose chasing him after he and a couple of pals robbed Blair’s bank. She still wants to jump but he holds her hostage to fend off the cop; he promises to kill her later. They escape (where would the movie be otherwise?), keep running from the cops, but never really find a way to get clear. Amazing, again, but the two fall in love.

Not recommended

Same year: Original Sin is Angelina Jolie and Antonio Banderas in 19th century Cuba, a triffling film about passion and, I suppose, truth. The biggest surprise to me was that Jolie did her own nude and topless scenes. There should be more surprises but writer/director Michael Cristofer seems incapable of keeping his powder in his pants. Not even much of the beautiful ‘Cuban’ countryside.

Not recommended

This site has been fairly quiet this week because I was preparing for a job interview yesterday. Quite exciting because the company is a world class operation and because this position will put me, for the first time, in a sales role. For now let’s leave the hiring company name out of this but I will say the position would not require relocation as the (headquarters) office is less than 15 miles from Casa Lazar in Mountain View.

The whole process began when I found out about the opening and contacted a friend who works in this division in a different location. He made some inquiries and sent my resume and a positive cover message directly to the hiring manager. Networking really is key in this miserable economy, all three of my recent opportunities have come due to some variant of it. The hiring manager called me Monday afternoon and we had a very good 30-35 minute chat; at the end he said I would hear shortly from his staff recruiter to slot me in for a visit and further interviews.

Turns out that this company has made a decision to significantly increase the number of individuals doing this particular job. This isn’t pure sales but instead has a significant technical overlay and specializes in a product category in which I have very solid experience. All, or most, of the people filling the newly created positions will be new hires, very cool in this (as I already said but bears repeating) miserable economy. The recruiter did call the following afternoon and explained that they were holding an open house for candidates Friday morning at 8 a.m. Each of the 10 candidates invited would have two one on one interviews and then make a presentation to a third person.

Apparently, having candidates for sales positions make a presentation is a standard part of the interview process at this company. I’d never had to do so before but it does make good sense since success in the job is heavily dependant on presentation and communication skills. Many companies hiring programmers give them programming tests or at least pose technical questions as part of the interview, so why shouldn’t sales interviews force candidates to do some selling? The recruiter provided me with a basic presentation that included the hypothetical customer, their objective, and a three part outline.

I went right to work, doing some substantial research on the hiring company’s website. This company is a firm believer in using the web to make their operations as effective and efficient as possible, so I was able to read white papers, customer case studies, even watch some high level product briefings. All in all, this made understanding the necessary content very easy and accessible. Plus, my sister, a high level, very successful salesperson herself, reviewed my draft and gave some very useful feedback. I had hoped to practice the presentation in front of one or more of my technically literate friends but none could be scheduled on such short notice. But the Sweet One was more than willing to sit and listen, even though she knows nothing about these kind of products.

Friday was very strange, getting up, showering, shaving, dressing up, and heading to an office as if it was a normal workday but of course I haven’t had a normal workday in so long! Traffic was really light on 101 at 7:30, I suppose just confirming what I’ve been reading in the newspaper lately. No problem getting to my destination 10 minutes early where I found the other candidates already waiting and all feeling at least some of the same last minutes jitters as me. After waiting a few more minutes for another person (who never showed), we were escorted upstairs to a conference room.

The division’s regional vice president, a very comfortable, experience woman, welcomed us all and gave a twenty minute presentation on the company, the division, and the positions in question. I’ve never really been involved in this type of hiring situation before, not even when graduating from Rutgers with the MBA, so this was pretty cool. Nice to be catered to a little bit. The recruiter had set up a matrix for the interviewers, showing each of them who would be doing the interviews in each time slot.

I don’t think I will write much about the actual interviews. I feel I did very well with each of them, particularly the presentation, and hopefully each recommended me. In fact, someone experienced in sales suggested that I close each interview, when asked if I had any questions for the interviewer, by asking for the job. “Based on what you’ve heard in our conversation, do you think you can recommend me for this position?” And I did ask them. Of course none gave a straight answer, though they did generally give me pretty good feedback on our talk and what would factor in to the decisions.

I left a few minutes after 10:00, feeling drained and exhilarated. Driving home I tried to process the event but it was difficult. I called the Sweet One and a few others to fill them in on the morning but I am a naturally optimistic person. I was told that a follow up phone call will probably come in the early part of this week to give me the result but I am confident. Keep your fingers crossed, okay? I know I am well suited for this position, prepared for success, and ready to go.

Update, 1/25: Thanks Rob but as cool a company as Microsoft is, it isn’t the company I’m talking about here.

Make your own Mondrian with the Mondrian Machine at pTank.

And speaking of art, why don’t we get sunset’s like garrett’s?

I am fat. I have eaten many cookies and many bowls of cereal in my nearly 42 years on this planet. But I have never considered suing Nabisco or General Mills. Eating this food was, more or less, my choice. So I’m not surprised or disappointed that the judge in New York threw out the lawsuit filed by a few obese people against McDonalds. What an amazing lack of personal responsibility these people and their sleazy lawyer!

Of course I’m also finally taking my body seriously and have adopted an appropriate diet and exercise regime. I’ve lost about 35 pounds since Labor Day and workout at 24 Fitness four or five times a week. I won’t be suing anyone, much as I would love to have a lottery-like payoff. My body, my life, my choice.

A check for $53 its in front of me

Replacing the cash I laid out last week

Buying a lamp for a friend at Costco

Since I belong and she does not.

Do you belong? Would you be a better

Person if you did or is this irrelevant, just

Noise and not signal? Certainly I’m glad to

Help out and Do my friend this little favor.

I don’t belong to any political party, always registered

As an independent. Even in college I would not

Join a frat because I was GDI. The kind of people with whom

I prefer to spend time would not belong to frats.

Or sororities, since I enjoy time with women as well as or

Even more than men. Though I spend much time these days with

Evan and he does not belong to Costco and did not join a frat

Even though he spent a decade at Uni.

Every time I typed belong in this poem I spelled it

Wrong, or incorrectly, except this last and so at least I

Belong to one useful club–humanity where no one is

Perfect, at least no the last time I looked.

Slashdot has a really good thread today: Top 10 New Sci-Fi/SF Authors?. Since it isn’t about Linux, Open Source, DRM, or Microsoft, there’s very little of the childish and tediously repetitive comments to spoil it. Those of you who want to find recommendations for some new SF authors will be happy. There is a moderate level of duplication and, given the length of the thread, Slashdot’s default interface will not make the reading easy but much meat to be had. Surprised me but with 875 comments posted no one has suggested Peter F. Hamilton and his Night’s Dawn Trilogy, which I would pick as one of the best of the ’90s.

Celebrity-focused humor: FameTracker.

Blogging tech-oriented bargains: More Stuff 4 Less Bargain Blog.

Where I would be on Friday if I happened to be in the Chicago area: TechVision 2003.

Make $82 million per year: Case Study – Get Rich Quick With Expired Domain Traffic.

The original version of Bedazzled, starring Dudley Moore as a poor slob and Peter Cook as the Devil came out in 1967 and was absolutely a product of its era. The recent sequel, with Brendan Fraser and Liz Hurley in 2000, was also a reflection of the current milieu. The difference is that the first version was original and funny while the later was derivative and mean-spirited. Then again, when are remakes ever better than the original?

Stanley Moon (Moore) is a short order cook and desperately in love with the greasy spoons’ waitress Margaret (Eleanor Bron) but completely unable to get past his shyness to speak to her. Deciding that enough’s enough, he throws a rope over a water pipe in his flat and attempts to end his life but even that he cannot do properly. Or perhaps this failure is the work of George Spiggot, aka Lucifer, who happens to appear in the apartment at just that moment. Spiggot offers Moon seven wishes, an seven wishes he chooses, in exchange for his soul. A useless leftover, much like the appendix, according to Spiggot. Moon of course signs the contract for he sees it as the way to get next to Margaret. Indeed, each of the wishes is a different attempt to connect with her but since this is a deal with the Devil not one works as expected.

Comparing the two versions points to several reasons why the original is superior. Most importantly, Cook’s Lucifer is much more human and sympathetic compared to Hurley’s slick and uncaring portrayal. Cook’s fallen angel simply wanted a little adoration of his own after spending so much time as God’s favorite angel. He has no choice about inducing evil, big or little, as God’s compelled him to such behavior. And over the course of the film he actually grows to like poor Stanley and at the end voluntarily returns his soul; Hurley’s is forced to return Fraser’s due to a contract technicality which neither Fraser nor the audience is aware of before the crucial act. And in terms of sex appeal, well, Liz Hurley is a hottie but cannot compare to Raquel Welch in her prime.

Cook also wrote the original, which probably accounts for him getting so many of the good lines, and the comedy duo were able to attract Stanley Donnen to direct. Donnen was one of the top directors of the middle century (Singin’ in the Rain, Damn Yankees, Charade) and a terrific choice. The new version has some quality names involved (Harold Ramis as director, Peter Tolan and Larry Gelbart as writers) but they seem to have taken the easy paycheck on this effort.

Definitely Recommended

2001’s Gosford Park is a Robert Altman film, which means that it will be long (137 minutes), filled with quality acting, and that there will be much dialog and little action. Altman can be hit or miss: Dr. T and the Women, his previous film, sucked while ’92’s The Player was great; M*A*S*H and Nashville, from the early ’70s were terrific, all time favorites, but sandwiched in between was Elliot Gould as Phillip Marlowe in The Long Goodbye and you can’t tell me that any film with Gould as Marlowe could be worth seeing.

Gosford Park is the story of a shooting weekend in 1932 at the country estate (castle, that is) of Sir William McCordle (Michael Gambon). He’s invited an assortment of relatives and friends and they bring along a servant or two each who only add to the castle’s huge staff. The film explicitly parallels the servants and the nobility, cutting between the two, showing the nearly unconscious interactions, and the striking similarities of hierarchy and snobbery. Altman even uses one character, played by Ryan Phillippe, as a sort of joke: He arrives as the valet of a visiting American film producer, seduces one of the noble women and one of the servants, then is revealed to be an actor playing a part and crosses back to his ‘proper’ place. None of the English characters approves of this, of course.

This is one of those films where nothing much really happens to create real emotional peaks–even the murder that creates the only significant plot twist isn’t really shown–but instead tries to create an atmosphere (England just before the Empire crumbled, when one simply knew his proper place) and an interesting assortment of characters to bring out the difference between there and then and here and now. A movie length, movie budgeted version of Upstairs, Downstairs. In the end, the viewing experience was enjoyable but never created the type of excitement the best films, or evenly moderatley good ones like Bedazzled, do. Julian Fellowes, a veteran British actor, did win the 2002 Oscar for Best Original Screenplay although the competition wasn’t that strong.

Mildly recommended

NY Times: Court Rules Against Network Associates’ Software Review Policy. One of the most common, longest running provisions in software licenses used by almost every commercial vendor for every product has been a clause that says the licensee cannot publish a review of the product without the company’s permission.

Now, you say, I read reviews of software in every issue of every computer-oriented magazine. But what you rarely read are performance numbers. For example, show me a magazine article or analyst report that provides and compares specific performance numbers from database or J2EE application servers. Those are pretty few and far between and it’s due to this clause. The ones you do see are managed very carefully and almost always have employees of the vendor working with the publisher’s lab techs to get the most favorable configurations used. and if the numbers aren’t good enough, the software company will simply retract permission. I’ve been there, seen it happen.

Now NY State Attorney General Elliot Spitzer has won a major court decision that says these clauses are unconstitutional because they violate freedom of speech protections. Network Associates, the company involved, claims that they only want to ensure that reviews are based on the latest version of the product and are not “misleading.” Um yeah. You know, after the way Spitzer was the only government official who really went after the crooks on Wall St., I think he’s my new hero!

Soccernet said it best, so I’ll just steal their headline. After 11 Premiership matches with no wins, only three short of the 50 year old record, the Reds finally took all three points from a match. Emile Heskey, whose demotion many LFC fans have been screaming for, was the man with the only goal scored. The FSN schedule called for the game to be shown live but the network switched at the last minute to Man United-Chelsea and it was only luck that a couple of hours later I turned back and found I’d only missed the first few minutes of a tape-delayed showing. Not lucky enough to see Heskey’s handiwork but just afterwards. Cool. One can only hope they’ll keep the form in a midweek Worthington Cup match against Sheffield United and then the big replay when the host league leading Arsenal on the 29th.