BillSaysThis

Reality shows suck, there is not a single one I think is worth being on television, and I don’t understand how they’ve become so successful the last few years. And it’s only getting worse with new crap ideas–and plenty of ripoffs and imitations–coming in the next weeks. Do yourself a big favor and skip them all.

A laugher for you: First Lady Promoting Husband As Warrior, thanks Laura I needed that. Because I read about how fucked we are courtesy of Republican whores voting machine vendor Diebold.

“President Bush will make certain that we are combating terrorism at the source, beyond our shores, so we can reduce the risk of having to confront it in the streets of New York. John Kerry’s record of inconsistent positions on combating terrorism gives us no confidence he’ll pursue such a determined course.” — Rudy Guiliani at the 2004 RNC

So, Rudy, you’re saying that George Bush, a man with zero foreign policy or defense experience before becoming (I won’t say ‘elected’) President should have been given the benefit of the doubt when he was a candidate but John Kerry, a man who has actually served his country in a war, should not. Set aside the eighteen years of dealing with national issues in the Senate, because those don’t count either.

Rudy, I know you’re a Republican and one who has a lot of political capital, but don’t go down that Swift Boad river!

Later: Garret went off on Guiliani (and McCain) in far greater detail.

There are three different regional Bob’s Big Boy special sauces, imagine that! What amazing things one can learn watching FoodTV.

In this presidential eleciton year, the reality of our system has truly become clear to me. I despise the current Administration, their policies and practices but for all that I want John Kerry to win I wonder how much difference he can make.

Head of State is Chris Rock’s satirical take on the subject and it’s funnier than I’d expected; in fact if there was anything else on that remotely interested me I’d have switched the channel. That would have been a mistake. Rock is a funny, funy man and I should have trusted him to not screw us with his first outing as director.

In a nutshell: Rock plays Mays Gilliam, an alderman in Washington, D.C., who’s essentially hit bottom. Elsewhere the Democratic candidate for president dies in a plane crash and no ‘eligible’ politician wants to stand against the Republicans’ man, Vice President Brian Lewis, a war hero and “Sharon Stone’s cousin.” That night Gilliam is in the news standing up for some nobody in a local dispute and comes to the attention of the right people who pick him as a sure loser who’ll do some good for the party nonetheless.

Of course you can’t keep someone like that in straightjacket and Gilliam, frustrated at parroting the same meaningless lines over and over, goes off script. Cinderella movies have to go up from bottom and that’s where Rock’s script takes off. Once he goes natural and populist everyone loves him, his poll numbers start to go somewhere and the other candidate starts getting nervous.

The high point, for me, is the debate between them. Lewis gives us standard political speechifying; he calls Gilliam an amateur and closes with his standard campaign tagline, “God bless America and no one else.” This is truly where Rock makes the clearest political commentary of the movie, lashing out at the professional’s hypocrisy and insulation from reality. Sure none of it is particularly original but the words hit home, resonate and made me laugh.

State isn’t perfect, Rock makes too much of his blackness and wastes a romantic subplot with a sweet hardworking girl (contrasted with Robin Givens’ running joke of an ex- who wants her suddenly good thing back).

recommended if you’re in the mood

Life for this crew is all about the junk, the stuff you shoot into your veins, snort when necessary. Tell yourself you’re not addicted, that you can stop on a dime whenever that day comes. No problemo. Anyone who isn’t an addict can see immediately that self-deception of these people.

Anyway, Spun is essentially an attempt at an American version of Trainspotting but director Jonas Ackerlund doesn’t come close to the humanizing success Danny Boyle had with that film. Depending on Mickey Rourke for a major role is a good predictor, I’d say, and trampling too many storylines on top of each other is another. Ackerlund’s done some terrific work with music videos but not here.

don’t bother

Vampires and werewolves in a fight to the death, is that original or what? Not very, and neither is Underworld. Released last year, the basic idea is that vampires and lycans are each descended from one son of a European nobleman whose blood mutated when he survived the plague but passed it on differently to his children. Hundreds of years later, in our present, the vampire clan has nearly wiped out their wolvish cousins though the reason for the emnity is never really stated. Notice the parallel to the mythic story that Muslims and Jews are descended from Cain and Abel?

In director Len Wiseman’s conception, the creatures are all very stylish and very human in their emotions. One vampire is driven by ambition, another by hate, another by love; the only lycan we’re truly shown simply wants to save his people from extinction. And while the action and pace do finally heat up and drive to a conclusion, we’re left with all sizzle and no steak nonetheless.

not recommended except to see Kate Beckinsale (now Mrs. Wiseman) in tight leather

A quick look at the top three in the EPL; Liverpool another day.

Only saw the second half of today’s Arsenal-Norwich City match, when the Gunners were already up 3-0, but man this team is just cooking. Then again what do you expect from a team that hasn’t lost since the tail end of the season before last? Reyes adds beautifully to the front third play with Henry, Pires, Ljungberg and Bergkamp and teenager Fabregas is running the team brilliantly in the absence of All World Patrick Viera, enough to make people ask if the team was mistaken not to take the nearly $50 million Real Madrid offered.

Chelsea hasn’t lost yet either (both teams have taken all 12 points from the first four matches) but isn’t scoring near as much as Arsenal either, winning more on terrific defense. Newcomers Paulo Ferreira and Ricardo Carvahlo were teammates at Champions League winners FC Porto under new coach Jose Mourinho and are melding immediately with Wayne Bridge and John Terry. The Blues’ midfield and front are taking a little longer to settle in–will Kezman or Gudjohnsen be Drogba’s main strike partner, and of Duff, Robben and Cole who will end up the primary left winger? As an aside, one wonders why the team didn’t try to move Damien Duff for a big transfer fee, because this amount of depth can be harmful as personalities clash.

Manchester United have barely kept themselves together with only four points from three matches; a win against Everton Monday will be important if only for their psyche. Possibly the team will have to set their focus on winning the Champions League this year, tough as that will be, because there’s no way they’ll crack the top two spots in the EPL. Maybe another FA Cup..

Today’s draw with Blackburn was typical of Red Devils play in the early going: lots of possession and dominance of the field but if not for a goal in the last 60 seconds this would have been a second loss. And the goal came from Alan Smith, he’s been their best player to date but will have a very tough time getting on the field once Ruud Van Nistlerooy gets healthy if, as seems likely, Sir Alex gets his druthers and Everton send Wayne (Mr. Potato Head) Rooney becomes the latest purchase. Finally, 18 year old American Jonathon Spector was servicable in his Premiership debut but the team clearly misses suspended Rio Ferdinand and injured Wes Brown at the back.

All in all, great start to the season.

Kudos to Scoble and the rest of the team for Channel 9, especially the videos. I realize I’m a little late to the game here but MSFT is really making an interesting attempt to break the fourth wall between this, the staff blogs and generally making more information available sooner. Sure, to some degree they’re reacting to open source and other challenges and they’ve rarely (if ever) been first with any of these tools, but I see them pretty far ahead of the competition at this point.

“The Starlost is considered by many to be the worst sci-fi television show ever.” This is the opening line of a seller’s eBay ad for a pack of the 10 episodes of the series which were turned into five movies. Great salesmenship, eh? I was thinking of the show after reading about the poll by a British newspaper of top scientists that has Blade Runner as best SF movie of all time. I thought Starlost was cheesy, cheaply made, but lots of fun; then again, I haven’t seen any of the episodes in more than 20 years. SciFi Channel, rescue me!

Anyway, the Big Guy and I decided to put in a lowball bid and see if we get the DVDs.

Man bites dog or, more bluntly, government once again caves to industry rather than protect citizens.

[A letter to the editor at the Mercury News in response to this absurd column]

Once again Joe Rodriguez writes a column asking us to put aside the rule of law. Rodriguez cites the benefits of having illegals here, doing work legal residents won’t and therefore boosting our economy. So I guess he would also be okay if we had a Robin Hood-style crew here in the Valley who specifically stole things out of rich people’s safes that were just sitting there, doing nothing to help the economy, and turning over the proceeds to a good cause. Because the column (yet again) tells us that laws can be broken if the criminal has a good reason.

Joe, if you want to get more people here legally, then work within the system to change the law. Don’t rationalize illegal activity or ask others to cover their eyes while it happens. Perhaps the proposals from both major parties aren’t getting the attention you’d like but that doesn’t mean the ideas aren’t there.

(A little something that occured to me with the RNC coming so soon, to the tune of The Beatles’ With a Little Help from My Friends)

A little help from my friends

What would you think if I invaded Iraq,

Would you stand up and walk out on me?

Lend me your guns and I’ll tell you a lie,

And I’ll try not to make you feel sick.

I get by with a little help from my friends,

I can lie with a little help from my friends,

Going to try a little war with my friends.

What do I do when allies go astray?

(Doesn’t worry me to be alone)

How do I feel by the end of the day?

(I’m not sad because I’m on my own)

No I get by with a little help from my friends.

Do you need anybody?

I don’t need no one to go.

Could it be anybody?

I want somebody to fight.

Would you believe in a lie at first sight?

Yes I’m certain that it happens all the time.

What do you see when you turn out the light?

I can’t tell you, but I know that it’s mine.

Oh I get by with a little help from my friends,

Do you need anybody?

I just need somebody to invade,

Could it be anybody?

I want someone to invade.

I get by with a little help from my friends,

Yes I get by with a little war with my friends,

With a little help from my friends.

Bill O’Reilly is pathetic, which I’m sure you know, but Jim Gilliam provides a clip from today’s show that demonstrates this so clearly its worth saying again. Bill, buddy, old pal, are you so afraid of terrorists that you would give up your right to protest? What if the tables were turned, the Democrats were running the show and you wanted to make some noise? That’d be different because, well, you’re just always in the right, right?

Showing that blogging continues to penetrate into important intellectual spaces Richard Posner, one of the nation’s foremost legal minds, is guest-blogging at Larry Lessig’s space. Hopefully a dry run for his own effort. Since the posts do have some preferable sequencing, click the main link and then scroll down to read beginning with the post titled The Changing of the Guard first and move upwards; this is an instance where blogging’s reverse chronological posting scheme is less than perfect.

D.Film allows anyone to make (very) simple funny digital films (pardon my bias).

Garret linked an interesting article regarding CFS today, makes me wonder if this is what’s causing my condition. Particularly catching my eye was the connection to sore throat, muscle weakness, post-external malaise, sleep and cognitive disturbances and that it’s commonly (mis-)diagnosed as depression. Not really sure what myalgias are but a little googling turns up diffuse muscle pain but that doesn’t seem like anything bothering me.

Seth, in a comment to Garret’s post, suggests a related illness: fibromyalgia syndrome (FMS), a widespread musculoskeletal pain and fatigue disorder for which the cause is still unknown. Seems a little further from what I’m experiencing but both seem more applicable than the nothing my doctor has got so far.

Still, note the post title I added. As the Big Guy said yesterday, as one gets older one tends to jump to the worst possibility right at the start.

Really, really wish the doctors wouldn’t take so long to get some answer on what’s making me so tired. TS1 and I went to the gym this morning and I had a nice coffee walk with the Big Guy but that drained almost all my energy and I spent the rest of the day wishing I could fall asleep. Annoying or what?

For example, I could barely keep my eyes open watching the US women take on and beat the German side in the Olympics quarterfinals. Knowing when the winning goal would occur (thanks for the tape delay, NBC), I forced myself to keep watching and feel asleep less than a minute later only to be woken up five minutes later(!!!) by a phone call. Almost fell asleep again 25 minutes ago but remembered I have some ribs parboiling on the stovetop. Not what, for sure.

Okay, why would I see this? Sure the original wasn’t terrible but a sequel can’t be as good. It wasn’t, but TS1 wanted to see it as part of her birthday celebration and who am I to say no?

Princess Diaries 2: The Royal Engagement brings us back to the story of Princess Mia of Genovia (Anne Hathaway, looking lovlier than ever). Five years have passed since she learned her true heritage and she’s finished high school and college; the time has come for her to move home and take up responsibility. First in line for the Genovian crown, by law, becomes the country’s ruler right after his or her 21st birthday.

Women, though, must be married and this gives director Garry Marshall his hook: John Rhys-Davies, who was so much better as Gimli son of Gloin, wants to put his barely-eligible nephew (Chris Pine) on the throne instead and so reminds everyone that the law also requires female rulers to be married first. The Parliament has given her 30 days to fix things.

Overall Marshall and writer Shonda Rhimes (low: Britney Spears’ Crossroads, high: Halle Berry’s Introducing Dorothy Dandridge) could have done much better but opted for a few extra easy laughs instead of working the material harder. For instance, the slumber party scene was cute and all but completely irrelevant to the plot and the time would have been much better spent deepening the connection between Mia and her arranged intended (Dead Like Me‘s wasted Callum Blue) or having Pine see more of his uncle’s underhandedness.

recommended for girls age 8-13

Her eyes showed a light of extraordinary spark

Revisioned events of tumultuous times

Passionate men moving below her level

Their colors tumbling together but not merging

Not willing to visit a possibility of common

Cause nor mediated interest nor simple love

But in her eyes the flagrant flambouyant messages

Had little to say and even less to impress

No she would not take up the flag or join

Her vision was far away engrossed in love.