Reason why Bill is not in Sales #238

A co-worker of mine was chatting yesterday with me and our boss and said she’d spoken with over the weekend. This is a name anyone would recognize, he lives in the mid-peninsula area and has been making great rock since the mid-’60s, but I don’t think it’s necessary to name names. But I’m telling this here because it’s a perfect explanation for why I’m not now and have never been a salesperson.

So my co-worker and her husband are hanging out with a fairly well-known inventor and good friend of theirs. As they talk the inventor mentions he just did some work with , who also happens to be a bit of a geek. She jumps on this and says let’s call , she’s sure he would be interested in RawSugar. I’m not saying I disagree, but the thought of doing this would just never occur to me.

So the inventor says okay and forks over ‘s cell phone digits. Lo and behold, the man himself answers and is well-mannered enough that he doesn’t even hang up on my co-worker. She quickly explains our service and suggests that he ought to build a directory around the geek hobby that the inventor had worked with him on which, to be clear, is nothing to do with music. says “Are you kidding?”

My co-worker, though, is a very good salesperson and so doesn’t give up after just one try. She gives him some more of the schpiel. Finally, says he’ll check out the site. I see all the new user registrations, so you can be certain I have my eyes wide open in case he does log on.

Aside: Not quite the same cache as but not bad either, we did have James ‘Father of Java’ Gosling create an account and try out RawSugar today. He even sent a trouble ticket in and politely sent back the additional information I asked to get for debugging.

Squidoo: My Lens

Squidoo is out of private beta, so you can see my Bruce Springsteen lens and rejoice. However, I’m not sure how long my effort there will remain living as I just received a rude note from their system:

Hello, Beta User

As Lensmaster for the Squidoo Lens ‘Bruce Springsteen’, you are receiving this notification that your Lens will be deleted in 4 days unless you improve it.

Improved lenses are defined as lenses that have been published with two or more modules; unimproved lenses are deleted automatically after 7 days.

Sincerely,
The Squidoo Team

My response:

Today I got an email saying that my lens hasn’t had a change recently enough and if I didn’t do one soon it would be deleted in four days.

What the fuck? Life is not busy enough that now I have to put ‘update Squidoo’ on my weekly activity list? Isn’t it enough that I participated in the private beta and filed bugs for you guys? Even if not, what if I get too busy at work, get sick, go on a two week vacation?

Seriously, you guys better be kidding. This one is going on my blog.

Seth Godin, the leader behind Squidoo, is often referred to as a post-modern marketing genius and not without some justification. But this is just stupid. Guys, go ahead and delete me now if you’re not going to change this policy because pigs (sponsored by Yahoo!) will be flying over the Mountain View skies before I bother to do another update.

Later: Godin just posted this explanation. I don’t see how he thinks its sufficient if the policy is still that lensmasters must do some type of work on each lens at least once every two weeks. And his attempted humor didn’t strike me as funny either.

Vacation report

I’ve been in Orlando since Saturday. TS1 and I are having a terrific time and head home tomorrow. We generally got to do what we planned including visits to Universal Studios, Epcot and Seaworld plus a couple of days of down time to play with my Rails learning process. We also made a 100 mile drive last Sunday to meet up with my old friend Betsy and her hubby Steve in Vero Beach, which was nice since neither of us had met the other’s spouse before.

Though today’s rain did cut into our SeaWorld visit, we can go back tomorrow as the tickets are good for unlimited visits during the five days after purchase. That was the one operational difference I saw between the three theme parks as they all charge more or less the same admission and parking, and all have more stores and eateries (by far) than actual attractions. Yesterday was all rain but, being a down day, wasn’t a problem.

The Marriot we’re at is really nice. We have an oversized one bedroom apartment, essentially, with a full kitchen, living room, jacuzzi for two, bedroom and master bath. No noise from other guests bothered us and (fast enough for me) WiFi included. Which was zero thanks to this being a gift from my folks (thanks, Mom and Dad!) of a week from their timeshare allotment. I never was too impressed with timeshares but after staying here, and a similar Marriot in Palm Desert last January, maybe I was wrong.

I sure had some good ‘learning’ with RubyOnRails this week. Lesson one: Sessions are your friend. Lesson two: Simple table inheritance may be a good thing but the available documentation and tutorials are far from sufficient to let me get it working. Lesson three: Remember that paths are very different from developing locally on Windows to deploying to a *nix server. Related: Why did Mike and Dave choose Denver in January for the next Pragmatic Studio?!?!?! I’ve been in Denver in February and, well, it’s no San Diego. But I still want to go.

Book review: Iron Sunrise

Largely due to trilogyitis I prefer to not read books until the entire sequence to which it belongs is published. Preferably in paperback, but exceptions can be made. So when I heard that Charlie Stross wrote another post-singularity novel and the Big Guy had it in paperback I glommed it for reading on the plane to Orlando (yes, TS1 and I are in FL for the week). Turns out that Iron Sunrise is not a sequel to Singularity Sky, exactly, but it does feature the same lumbering post-human Eschaton (though not so far off in the distance as last time) and shares a major character in Rachel Mansour.

Don’t get me wrong, I really enjoyed this book, but it ended on such a non-conclusive note that to think another book isn’t forecoming would be to accuse Stross of letting down his readers. Which I wouldn’t do. But to check his book FAQ and see that it won’t be out until 2008 makes me want to scream; the only consolation is three years is far enough off that I can re-read and enjoy all three together.

Opening of our story: A nasty weapon destroys the star around which the planet New Moscow circles and, in short order, turns the planet itself and all residents into so much stellar dust. Way outside the system’s Oort cloud and a few years later an evacuation is in progress at a research and transit system, just ahead of the front of the explosion’s wave of killing radiation. Alienated teen with a strange invisible friend Wednesday Strowger makes one last surreptitious pass though the only home she’s really ever known and finds a murdered customs officer and strange papers, then chased for her life by uplifted security dogs.

Wednesday eventually runs into Rachel, tracking the same bad actors from different angles before bringing the plot to a satisfying conclusion. The bad actors here are a group of men and women calling themselves the ReMastered. Think master race, engineered humans, without a funny bone but having developed serious neural interface technology and who consider the Eschaton the Enemy of their unborn god. Though the scheme which launched this story is indeed resolved, this unexplained god-to-be and the fate of the ReMastered as a whole are the open threads which scream for stitching. Charlie, how can you make me wait three years to see the next bit?

recommended, heartily

Weird news from the old home town

A rash of hateful letters, a source no one suspected was on the front page of the Newark Star-Ledger today, tells the story of Livingston resident Stephen Reiter. This is a guy who built a decent-sized business from nothing, $15 million in annual revenues, and has served on the town zoning board. Popular and friendly, the story has the typical neighbor quotes of “he was such a nice guy” and “I never suspected him.”

But Reiter fell into an emotional black whole after his father passed three years ago, taking drugs, going over the line with business ethics, far enough to have to sell it. He started writing hateful, nasty letters to his neighbors; since they weren’t signed and he took care not to leave fingerprints, police had a tough time figuring out the source. Livingston is such a quiet town that the cops apparently had nothing better to do and kept at it, analyzing lists of ways the recipients were connected and finally figured it out.

Big deal. Reiter was fined $500 (plus $420 😉 court costs) and 28 days in jail, credited as served for having done a couple of rehab stints. Of course he’s finished in Livingston.

The article is typical sensationalistic journalism. If this was worthy of the front page then they should have put much more meat on it, looking at other similar cases, finding some insights into the psychological pressures facing Reiter. None of that though, just brief who done it. Sad for the neighbors who got the letters, since it caused a number of them problems with a spouse or work, but sad for Reiter too.

Saving face

Doc Searls reports that Adam Curry, caught redhanded making self-serving edits to the Wikipedia entry on podcasting, told him it was simply “pilot error.” However, as Rogers points out, Curry’s edits were made at several different occasions and erased mention of several different other people. Further, this isn’t the first time he’s pushed other folks, such as Dave Winer, who had as much or more to do with than Curry himself out of the limelight. The ex-MTV VJ is an old hand at managing the media but for my money he’s scrambling to cover for poorly thought-out decisions and not quite making it. Sad.

Book: The Oracle Trilogy

So yesterday’s rant had more than one trigger. Though these books by Mike Resnick are a three-pack, they’re also part of his larger Birthright future history which includes Santiago, the most celebrated of his works, which I read enjoyed not long before picking up the review in blog habit.

These three books focus on a very odd young woman named Penelope Bailey. Some odd mutation made Penelope precognitive, gives her the ability to see possible futures, thousands or millions of them at any given moment. From an early age she realizes that if she makes movements she sees in one or more possibility then that future (or group of them) is the one that will occur. By the age of six agents of the Democracy, the largest government in human space’s thousands of planets and a billion ships in its space navy, has taken her into its care.

In Soothsayer, the first volume, a coupleof years have passed until she’s able to conive an escape. As the book opens she hooks up with a protector. The Mouse, a magician/con artist’s assistant and acrobatic cat burglar, rescues the little girl from an alien holding her hostage. Carlos Mendoza, the Iceman, retired Democracy operative, assassin for hire known and feared across the worlds of the Inner Frontier, and bartender/lord protector of a planet called Lost Chance, is Mouse’s former boss and the love who got away and she turns to him for help.

Everyone has or wants a flashy nickname in this future. Mendoza is tired of his; at 50 he wants nothing more than to be left alone pouring drinks and sweeping out drunk miners from his bar and casino. Having left Mouse behind on their last government mission together years before, he cannot now refuse her but seems to be the only human capable of recognizing the threat Bailey poses. The government believe they can guide and control her, Mouse wants to be the mother every eight year old girl needs and an assortment of rogues and pirates can’t see past greed.

14 years pass until Oracle begins, and for ost of that time Bailey has been held captive by an alien race on the planet Hades. She’s finally seen futures in which she can escape. Coincidentally, Mendoza’s been commissioned by his old government handler (the arrogant 32) to find and either kill or bring her back. Mendoza subcontracts the work to a big game hunter turned assassin but after realizing–since he’s the only one, still, who recognizes the danger Bailey is–that this is not a good idea and he heads out to intercept his hired hand.

Prophet is set only six years later. Hired guns come to Lost Chance almost weekly to take out the Iceman but he can’t be taken on his own turf and they wind up six feet under instead. Finally one corpse yields a clue and Mendoza’s new assistant, the Gravedancer, chases off planet to find the paymaster. Which turns out to be a new holy man named Moses Mohammed Christ, the Anointed One, who leads a (nameless) fanatical religion with hundreds of millions of followers on thousands of worlds.

Why has the Anointed One targeted Carlos Mendoza? Because he’s the only human being to come in contact with Bailey twice and live, and the leader sees Bailey as a more dangerous foe than the Democracy itself. He’s right, of course, but blinded by his own lightening success; in the end, the Anointed One’s fleet of several thousand interstellar warships is defeated by the Prophet’s strange ability without her having a single soldier or gun. A step here, a raised arm over there and ships’ engines explode taking a few dozen nearby unfortunates with them.

Mendoza understands this must be the outcome, of course, since he’s still the only human who doesn’t underestimate Penelope. He uses the attack to sneak onto the planet so the two can have one last conversation.

So do these books suffer from the trilogy disease? I’d have to say yes. Resnick reuses the Birthright ‘verse, pads the books (heck, he uses the same two page prologue in all three), reuses the story structure and, worst of all, each of the volumes is only around 250 pages. But I got my money’s worth since the Bigu Guy lent me Prophet and I got the other two from the used bookstore for $2.50 each.

And the stories are enjoyable, Resnick is a good writer and the basic invention, the precognitive girl, is not similar to one I’d seen before. Still, I wish he’d have made this one good book with the three stories as novellas at a total of around 400 pages. Santiago was much better.

not recommended

Liverpool FC running hot!

With the win 0-2 today at bottomdwellers Sunderland, the Reds have shaken their early season woes with an EPL record-tying fifth consecutive shutout by Jose Reina. The three points lift the club to fourth in the league table, one point behind Arsenal and two behind Manchester United, and they’ll host surprisingly hot Wigan–the other team with 25 points–at the weekend. Annoyingly, I thought I’d set Tivo to record the match but apparently not; I do have the Wigan match on the To Record list and should be able to squeeze it in before the plane ride.

Books: The Neanderthal Parallax

Robert J. Sawyer has written quite a few stories in Analog that I’ve enjoyed so when he turned up in the January 2002 issue with another multi-part serial called Hominids I was more than ready to read it. After the third part I was really enjoying it and couldn’t wait to get the issue with the conclusion. At the end, though, I was more than a bit sad because it turned out to be a poorly chopped out portion of what was clearly a bigger story; sure enough, a few months later a novel by the same name was in the bookstores and, even worse, it was the first of a trilogy.

To me, trilogies are a disease infecting recent science fiction authors and publishers. I understand that a big part of it is economics, that SF novels tend not to sell that well and so getting readers to pay three times can make a big difference to the P&L, possibly even enough to make publishing SF viable. Fans, to be sure, have a share of the blame for always asking for more stories with the same characters and storyverse.

Most people would spend more or less the same amount on books so the reason I see trilogies as a disease rather than just more reading material is because almost all of them suffer from content inflation. That is, material which might generally work best at about 400-600 pages (one somewhat long or two just below average volumes) is padded and blown up to double or triple that length–in this instance the three volumes are exactly 1200 pages according to Amazon listings. Coincidence? Makes me wonder. Not that some writers don’t deliver on trilogies and even longer series; for instance, Peter Hamilton and Louis McMaster Bujold have created massive masterpieces in the Naked Dawn and the Vorkosigian Saga, respectively, and then there’s Douglas Adam’s five book Hitchhiker’s Guide and the seminal trilogies: JRR Tolkien’s Lord of the Rings and Isaac Asimov’s Foundation Trilogy.

A good portion of the padding comes from summarizing what came previously because, of course, publishers won’t (or don’t want to) assume that all readers purchased them. Even so, authors like Sawyer have taken this one step further and include passages within the volume that recap the current book so far. A few paragraphs here and there and soon enough you’ve got an extra 10 or 20 pages that bulk up the book to justify charging $25.95 (hardcover) or $7.99 (paperback) three times.

  1. Hominids
  2. Humans
  3. Hybrids

The thing of it is, Sawyer actually has some really good ideas and characters to explore in this set but extra characters, disconnected subplots and the aforementioned recaps and reminders weaken the result. The key science fictions that he builds from are that the Many Worlds and Theater of Consciousness hypothesis from quantum physics are correct taken together and that human conscioussness arose when the polarity of the Earth’s magnetic field shut down 40,000 years ago, something which really did occur.

He puts them together by positing that instead of many universes, each created at (scientifically speaking) frequent occurence, there are really only two of significance: ours and one created 40,000 years ago when, instead of Homo Sapiens, Neanderthals became conscious. Other ‘verses were spun off from each subsequently. The other species died out in each Earth. The Neanderthals develop very differently from us though I got the feeling that Sawyer for the most part just gave them his own idea of the perfect society: far fewer people, lots of open space, violence and inherited disease purged from the gene pool through common consent, everyone on their best behavior because their every movement is recorded in the Alibi Archives.

The story opens when two Neanderthal physicists developing quantum computing technology attempt a calculation larger than their system’s capacity. The underlying theory is that a quantum computer works by using other instances of itself in parallel ‘verses but Ponter and Adikor push unknowlingly past that limit and the machinery contacts a ‘verse (ours) where no parallel machine exists so instead a hole opens to it. Ponter, of course, falls through into our world. Much philosophical hemming and hawing ensues.

Bottom line is that Robert Sawyer is a good author and he writes enjoyable science fiction. Since I borrowed this trilogy from the Mountain View Public Library, I don’t even feel too bad about the padding.

recommended

TextDrive merges

The hosting company where I just finished moving billsaysthis.com, TextDrive, announced today it was merging with Joyent, another small startup (discussion at A Fireside Chat On the Events of the Day). Doesn’t seem to be too significant for me and TS1 except they increased the diskspace for my level account from 300MB to 1GB, which is nice. The CEO, Dean Allen of Textpattern fame, explained that it makes TxD a stronger company and that’s probably true. Joyent, the new partner, is a web applications company which means they need serious hosting resources and TxD could use some help on the software side, seeing as how they’re struggling a bit to get promised stats and account manager apps out to users. Good luck to the new combination!

One of the reasons I switched off PHPWebHosting (Guy, are you listening?) was to get Email over SSL. At BarCamp, Jake Appelbaum showed how significant that can be when wirelessly connected to the web. Despite several requests and trouble tickets PHPWH never came close to helping me find a workaround for their lack of support for this common standard. So tonight I found the TxD kb article and turned it on.

What’s the first thing that happens? Symantec Norton Anti-Virus throws up an error message! For some reason not explained even in this extensive online help article, the software doesn’t work with Email over SSL:

“Norton AntiVirus email scanning does not work with an ISP that is using the SSL protocol. Also, Norton AntiVirus email scanning will only scan email that arrives on default ports 110 or 25.

If your ISP uses the SSL protocol, then you must disable email scanning in order to send and receive email.”

Wow. I mean seriously dudes just how many years and versions of this application do you need to get this feature in the bits?

CommonCensus Map Project

Michael Baldwin is running an interesting experiment at the CommonCensus Map Project, asking visitors to answer four (multiple choice) questions about their geographic identification. Note to Michael Arrington and Robert Scoble: this is not a web 2.0 mashup, LOL, though it does use a small bit of JavaScript to magnify viewports on the map. I think it needs more people to complete the survey for the answers to get meaningful.

New feature: Easy subscribe to my RSS feed

I know I should have spent the time on Rails but I felt like doing something a little different. So I added a little bit of coding so that the RSS feed link only shows on pages where it’s relevant–the home page, single post pages, and blog archive pages–and put a link labeled subscribe next to it.

There’s something a little more elegant to it, I think: clicking the subscribe link opens a block in place with a list of links to subscribe to BillSaysThis in the more popular feedreaders (that is, those that have the capability) using JavaScript. Of course, there’s a close the block link at the bottom to restore the pristine page state.

screenshot of the block

If there’s any interest I’ll make the HTML, JavaScript and image files available; just ask.

Born to Run

So Tuesday was the day the 30th anniversary edition of Born to Run hit the stores. One of the rare ‘first day must haves’ for me. I don’t recall an album that had a bigger impact on me, and has stayed with me all these years. I can hear any part of any of the songs inside my head any time. Funny how the songs that stuck out more to me weren’t the mainstream choices; put a gun to my head and I’d rank Night as the best cut followed by Thunder Road and Born to Run.

I got the box at lunch time and listened to the CD all afternoon. Records were much shorter in those vinyl days! At home I watched the Hammersmith Odeon concert. Terrific visual quality considering the raw stock allegedly sat in canisters in a warehouse until a couple of years ago. Two big surprises for me: Bruce didn’t strap on a guitar until the fifth song, content to dance and sing before that, and–fuck–they cut out all the patter. He used to talk and joke and tell stories, sometimes pretty long and involved, between songs or as the band played extended instrumental breaks, and I know he was still doing them in ’75. Interviewers later on asked where the tall tales went and he said they were better as material for his songwriting but to me this was the one big mistake in assembling this film.

Watching I realized something that had been in the back of my mind for a long time but never quite materialized. From the first record through the end of this tour, the E Street sound was funky and massively danceable. Not in a disco sense but like great R&B. Gary Tallent’s bass lines, Clarence’s sax, Max’s drumming, they added up to the world’s best bar band sound. Who am I to look inside another person’s mind, okay, but I think the big lawsuit with Mike Appel (his first manager) that started after this tour changed Springsteen into a more serious man, made him grow up. Look at the music of Darkness on the Edge of Town, the next record he made, and Nebraska soon after that, much more about being an adult in a walled-in world than an exuberant, playful kid who spouted joyful, optimistic, thousand syllables a minute juke joint tunes. Not that I don’t love them too but they come from a different world view, and this concert is a last great memento of that kid.

When events like this special release come around, politicians often try and share some of the spotlight with resolutions and proclamations. Canada, for instance, gave Shania Twain the country’s highest award on Friday, the Order of Canada, for her efforts to end child poverty. The divisive, vindicative, small-minded Republicans we have in charge these days, on the other hand, blocked a resolution by both of New Jersey’s (Democratic) senators to honor Bruce even though such things “usually pass by unanimous voice consent” because, of course, Springsteen was a vocal, visible Kerry supporter in last year’s elections.

Invisible movement

I think that if you can read this then the DNS switch/hosting move is complete; I switched Blogger’s settings so (just on passwords) it wouldn’t be able to connect to the old host. Am I nervous? Nah. Um, okay a little.

Moving hosts – possible trouble warning

Just in case you have odd results with the RSS feed or the webpage is unavailable or email bounces, it’s because after publishing this I’m going to switch the DNS from the current hosting company to our new home at TextDrive. Possibly you’ll be able to see this place at an alternative address, http://bst.textdriven.com, and send email to me at bill at the same domain (the whole thing including the bst part).

No big deal and any trouble will clear in a couple of days or less, as soon as the new DNS info (how the nice text web addresses get translated to the numbers computers know and love) propogates through the network. This is one of those instances where a strength of the internet can cause some minor problems

I, Cringely :: Paper War

The pundit who would be Cringely loves, and I mean lurves in an unnatural way, to get in as many over the top adjectives and out of the stratosphere rhetorical devices as he can fit in the space of a column but today’s Paper War has to be a prizewinner even for him. Just consider this brief, two sentence single paragraph excerpt from the middle of the thing:

“This is more than another Akamai or even an Akamai on steroids. This is a dynamically-driven, intelligent, thermonuclear Akamai with a dedicated back-channel and application-specific hardware.”

Yeah but what’s he gonna do for next week?

What can I say?

I know this place has been quiet lately. Honestly there’s a lot going on, plus I was sick over the weekend, but mostly behind the scenes stuff. For example, I’m moving this site to a new hosting provider but hitting hiccups after getting put on a new, not quite shaken out, server and just trying to understand what’s happening has taken an excessive amount of time.

Also, I’ve mostly worked through the Rails book and have been obsessively reading the fairly active newsgroup to keep up with things. I even got some help last night from a couple of friendly, more experienced guys to understand how to do a form with a model that doesn’t connect to a database table. With the Thanksgiving holiday and a week off next month there should be something worth showing soon.

Finally, there’s all the fan mail. The life of an Internet superstar can have its downside. People expect that I’ll actually read their messages and won’t take a generic “the check’s in the mail” response. No, I have to go into the bank website and literally pay the bill. You tell me, is that any way to treat li’l ol’ BillSaysThis?

All in all, keep your fingers crossed. Think a positive thought. Remember to pour the beer down the middle of the glass. Keep on swimming.

Last night’s movie: Spanglish

James L. Brooks has made some classic films over the years including As Good As It Gets, Terms of Endearment and Broadcast News plus he’s a co-creator of TV standouts The Simpsons, Taxi and The Mary Tyler Moore Show! Adam Sandler, on the other hand, has not. Okay, some of his movies have been funny (The Waterboy, Happy Madison) and even a couple that are a step above the pre-teen level (The Wedding Singer and especially Punch-Drunk Love) but nothing of the mature, life-affirming nature of Brooks’ oevre.

So we didn’t run out to the cinema to fork over $10 each to see Spanglish when the reviews were, well, half-hearted at best and no friends gave positive (or any) reports. Watching it, though, made me wonder why it didn’t get a better response. This is more the story of a young, unwed Mexican mother trying to make a life for her daughter in a strange land than anything to do with Sandler, and Paz Vega does a superb job as the woman who doesn’t even speak English until nearly the end.

Vega gets tangled up in the lives of Type A mom Tea Leoni, the nearly Zen monk-like Sandler and their two kids. Leoni doesn’t work but needs help taking care of her smart but slightly chubby daughter Berniece, (barely visible, so hard to characterize) younger son George and alcoholic, faded, drunk but able to care and give the occasional bit of sage wisdom singing star mom (Cloris Leachman). Her own daughter, the same age as Leoni’s, cannot resist the lure of wealth so easily but is still the most well-behaved teenager I’ve ever seen.

Anyway, the plot is not so much the point here as the performances Brooks is able to bring out from the cast. Leoni and Leachman are no surprise, and Vega is experienced if unknown in the US (and gorgeous, like Penelope Cruz without the zero percent body fat), but Sandler and the kids are an unexpected pleasure. Particularly Sarah Steele as Berniece but also Shelbie Bruce as her Latina counterpart.

recommended

Laughing Squid 10th Anniversary

Congratulations to Scott “Laughing Squid” Beale on tonight’s 10th Anniversary Party for his off-the-beaten path hosting company. I’ve run into Scott a few times recently and he really represents the best of what underlies the San Francisco stereotype. Which are, after all, usually based on some distortion of reality and that’s what Scott is. He shows up at so many events, happenings and parties I wonder if he bothers to keep an apartment/house or just has a dresser and shower in the office! Always with a camera too. Happy 10 years, pal, and best wishes for many more decades of merging art, commerce and community. [tag: laughingsquid]