Today’s movie: Wirey Spindell

Wow, this was a weird movie, the kind you watch and then ask yourself where the fuck did writer/director/lead actor Eric Schaeffer come up with this? Wirey Spindell is an autobiography of someone named Wirey Spindell, the child of hippies, a kid who doesn’t make it to age seven without becoming a sexual predator, who shuttles from school to divorced parent to elsewhere, always fueled by drugs, alcohol, and sex. Until, in college, he realizes that he either stops or dies. And so he goes into rehab and gives up the toxins…and the sex. Until he meets the lovely Callie Thorne (who was a detective towards the end of Homicide: Life on the Streets). Schaeffer tells this story through flashbacks, with three actors playing his younger self, until we get back to the present. Let’s just pray this wasn’t his autobiography.

Recommended if you like weird artsy films

Beer impedes blogging

Had a Heineken this afternoon, after a homeowners association/contractor manager fell through because the contractor forgot the meeting, and that is making me feel like not blogging just now. Plus, the huge fire at Santana Row is hypnotizing me. Plus, I was at the dentist before this and she had to apply a topical anesthetic. So drowsy!

Liverpool 1-Aston Villa 0: Match Report

Opening note of appreciation to Fox Sports World for giving us same day coverage of Liverpool FC’s Premiership opener against mid-level opponent Aston Villa. Manager Gerard Houillier has written the same names in the starting list except for Djimi Traore at left back (due to injury) and, the surprise, El Hadji Diouf replacing Emil Heskey as Michael Owen’s partner up front. Diouf, you may recall, scored the goal that set the tone for this year’s World Cup, putting Senegal over France 1-0 in the tournament’s first game.

Three early yellows: Alpay of AV (14th minute) for a bad challenge on El Hadji Diuof, then Diuof four minutes later for protesting too much, and Haman for a serious feet into the legs of Hendrie.

In the middle of a strong offensive stretch, in the 21st minute came the best challenge yet for AV, Dudek saved a goal by knocking a shot against the crossbar.

28th: Gerard puts a beautiful cross across the box right onto the foot of Diouf only a couple of yards in fron of the goal bu the Senegalese international couldn’t get the handle and lifted it well over the top. Three minutes later John Arne Riise just barely misses the top corner with a header. Short while later Danny Murphy takes the third yellow for the Reds to block an AV breakout.

First half ends with some good offense from Liverpool but the Aston Villa defenders, especially star Turkish international Alpay, are up to the challenge and we at 0-0. Liverpool is certainly favored but, after Arsenal (2-0 over newly promoted Birmingham City) and Manchester United (1-0 West Bromwich Albion) opened their seasons with victories, all three points must be taken home.

Second half gets off to a bang as John Arne Riise scores from the left corner off a very quick counter attack. AV had two solid shots on goal but Liverpool defenders were there to block both. After a couple of headers forward, Danny Murphy took charge and raced up through the center, passing off to Riise at the 30 yard line. The Norwegian international used one dribble to settle the ball and then drilled it into the net with his left foot past the outstretched feet of two defenders and Eckleman, the AV keeper. The Reds were undefeated (6-0-1) when Riise scored last season!

The teams continue to pressure each other, slight edge to LFC, but nothing too serious as the 70th minute is reached and AV’s Staunton gets a yellow for a kick to Diouf’s calf that puts the striker on the ground. Owen disappointed in the 79th with a chance to put the ball in on a penalty shot that Enckelman barely deflected with his right foot and at the next stoppage Owen is pulled for Heskey.

The Reds had the best defense in the Premiership last season and show they intend to repeat that statistic this season as they allowed Aston Villa almost no decent chances to score. Very good signs were the return from injury of Danny Murphy and Steven Gerrard; indeed Gerrard was named ‘man of the match’ on the LFC website. Next up is a home match against Southampton on Saturday. The team lost and drew in two tries against Southampton last season and this is one team they need to improve against to move up from last year’s second place.

Today’s movies: Tortilla Soup, CinderFella

Saw a really amazing family film tonight called Tortilla Soup. Family in the sense of being about a family although the movie is also fine to watch with the young ones. Hector Elizondo is the patriarch and Elizabeth Pena, Jacqueline Obradors (the latest NYPD Blue hottie), and Tamara Mello are his daughters. The plot is pretty basic, Mom is long since passed away and the daughters each have a romantic episode, and Dad has lost his senses of taste and smell. The action revolves around the kitchen–Dad is a master chef and he’s taught his daughters well–so a nice bowl of popcorn hit the spot.

Director Maria Ripoll is the real master here, bringing out terrific performances from all the actors, framing the shots with lots of bright colors, and managing the pacing spot on. This is actually a remake of an acclaimed Chinese film (co-written and directed by Crouching Tiger’s Ang Lee) called Eat Drink Man Woman but it really works unlike so many other remakes.And I can’t leave out mention of Raquel Welch, who looks amazing at 60, showing as a woman looking to take Elizondo as husband number five. On the surface this doesn’t come across as such a good film but trust me, which probably accounts for it’s less than amazing box office, but it is.

Recommended

Earlier, while waiting for the Sweet One’s delicious chicken adobo, we took in a classic Jerry Lewis movie, Cinderfella, which concerned family as well but in an entirely different light. Superficially an update of Cinderalla, complete with fairy godfather (the extremely red-nosed Ed Wynn), this really is just a vehicle for Lewis’s physical comedy. Dame Judith Anderson plays the wicked stepmother (Trek connection: Anderson played High Priestess T’Lar in The Search for Spock), Robert Hutton and Henry Silva are the brothers, and Anna Maria Alberghetti as the lovely Princess Charming, staying with Anderson et fils while visiting America to find a husband. Lewis’ family expect her to hook up with Hutton. Wink wink nudge nudge. But this is a prime example of the work Lewis did after leaving Dean Martin; so many dismiss him these days with a snarky comment about how the French love him but that’s unwarranted–in his prime, the late ’40s through the mid-60s, he did work as well as anyone.

Recommended

Great minds agreeing

Dan acknowledges that On Her Majesty’s Secret Service is not only underrated but perhaps the best Bond film of all, which is just what I said in my review, and points to Jaquandor’s series reviewing all 19 Bond films (plus Never Say Never Again, but not including Casino Royale), in which Jaquandor also names OHMSS the top 007. Why, you ask? This is something I had difficulty putting my finger on but he gets to the point: “Where so many Bond films a[re] faux-epics, mistaking huge sets and massive battles for grandeur, OHMSS gets it right by telling an epic story.”

Rich don’t get richer: update

Last month I commented on a ploy used by the very rich to avoid inheritance taxes through a technique involving odd insurance policies. I’m glad to report that the IRS has finally ruled on these schemes and in fact ruled that they are not legal. “I think a lot of people will be in deep yogurt,” said one prominent tax commentator. He expects lots of litigation over this ruling, meaning, as so often is the case, the big winners will be attorneys racking up the hourly fees. Surprisingly, the two men most responsible for devising and spreading the use of this scheme were not available for comment but one can expect them to be prime targets of the lawsuits., fair enough considering the fees they’ve raked in over the last five years

Stay away from Bravenet

This company, Bravenet Web Services, provides many free services to webmasters. At one point I signed up to try one or two of them out, though I never actually implemented any on my website. To even try things out, the site requires webmasters to register and provide a valid email address. I try to use the unique email address for each site I register at, usually websitename@mysite. Now I’m getting porn spam to the email address I provided to them. Swell. On the other hand, I can block that address now and not be bothered by these assholes.

Strange Google rankings

garret may be fourth for “greasy, grimey gopher guts” but I’m eight for something a lot weirder: 2003 xxx women sex men photo. Especially because I don’t have any sex photos on this website. Sorry. Especially to the guy who was searching in Arabic and came visiting here. I see lots of referals for restaurant searches (I come out first in Google for Bucca di Beppo Palo Alto, for example), George Carlin, Springsteen, and song lyrics and movie quotes. I’m #1 for my own name. All those are fine with me. Just keep your dirty sexland.com searches to yourself!

Today’s movie: Sugar & Spice

Five cute A Squad cheerleaders, who add a sixth along the way, show that, despite being made of Sugar & Spice, when one of their sisters is in need, they are willing to do the deed. So, perhaps that first sentence was a little on the cute side. But that’s about the level of this movie: very cute and not very demanding.

Marley Shelton, who must have been thrilled to be still playing a teenage character at age 27, is the captain of the group and she gets her dream, having the gorgeous quarterback/most popular guy in school fall for her. Only he (James Marsden, who must have signed on to play this doofus before getting the Cyclops role in x_men) knocks her up just before the junior prom so when the tell the folks they’re getting married and keeping the baby, the ignorant parents kick them out. They get an apartment, jobs (she in a supermarket bank branch, he in a video store), and stay in school. Flash forward to the next school year–the movie does without any kind of indication–and Shelton has realized that they just aren’t going to make it.

Then she has an epiphany: her and the girls will rob a bank. One of the other cheerleaders, played by Mena Suvari (and yes, this is well after American Beauty and American Pie), has a mom she’s never met doing life in the joint for killing Suvari’s father. Well, one less than tearful visit later and the girls have gotten all the instruction needed from mom’s pals. They need guns–but not bullets–and lucky for them, since they don’t have the cash for the guns, the dealer has a good looking daughter who’s pining to be a cheerleader. Fern joins the squad, the squad gets the guns.

One last gift from mom in jail, a set of Betty doll masks, and the girls are off to their one-time entry into the life of crime. Everything, mainly, goes well, they get home with piles of cash and a cute bassinet for the mom-to-be. Except…Lisa (The Practice’s Marla Sokoloff), a B Squad cheerleader, is in the supermarket and realizes that the robbers are her rivals.Faster than you can say “Cheerleader captains can’t be seven months pregnant with twins,” Lisa is the new A Squad captain and the alibi for her new pals. The big twist, from the genius word processor of Mandy Nelson, is that the whole movie is being told by Lisa, in flashback, to the FBI while the A Squad sits in a cell. Until she coughs up, at the very end, the alibi.

I guess teen movies are generally supposed to be “fun” and “cute” and not too concerned about taking adult viewers like me on an emotional journey. They are cute, the girls run around in skimpy cheerleading outfits and sometimes just bras and panties (even the ultra-Christian one), and come out ahead in the end. I guess I was expecting a little something more from a movie written, directed (Francine McDougall), and produced (Wendy Finerman) by three women.

Neutral: not bad for a teen comedy but not great either

Corporate accountability and Winn-Dixie Stores

In this year of scandals at companies too numerous to name any longer, Winn-Dixie Stores has come up with a new one. The management of this publicly traded company has made a deal with the NFL’s Jacksonville Jaguars to purchase any unsold tickets to home games in order to prevent any local TV blackouts. This deal comes only one week after the company announced a net loss for the quarter ended June 26 of $21.9 million, or 16 cents a share, compared with year-earlier net income of $13 million, or 9 cents a share, although the executives tried to duck the reality by throwing a bunch of one-time items to explain the loss. No getting around the fact that the stock is off over one third from it’s most recent highs. Jacksonville’s mayor stood next to the Winn-Dixie CEO to announce this deal, complete with balloons and a marching band, but I certainly wonder if there aren’t more pressing needs for corporate charity in such a big city. Don’t you?

Soccer: US moves up, Earthquakes roll on, Liverpool looks over the edge

The post-World Cup lull in soccer is ending. On the global front, the US national team has moved into the Top 10 in world soccer rankings for the first time ever, tying Italy for ninth in the list released yesterday. This is a well-deserved reward after reaching the round of eight at the World Cup and winning the Gold Cup. On the home front, the San Jose Earthquakes seem determined to repeat as Major League Soccer champions. The team is sitting atop the league table three fourths of the way into the season, have Landon Donovan and Jeff Agoos back from their national team duties, have one of the league’s top scorers (Ariel Graziani) and best keepers (Joe Cannon), and a great young coach in Frank Yallop.

Liverpool FC, on the other hand, is not looking as good early on. The Premiership season gets going this weekend and the Reds travel to face Aston Villa on Sunday for their opener. However, the preseason has not gone well; in the last four matches, they’ve been shut out by Lazio, Real Madrid, and Arsenal. Some fan writers claim the future’s bright and point to the return from injury of Markus Babbel and Stephen Gerrard, the emergence of young Czech striker Milan Baros, and the additions of El Hadji Diouf and Michael Foley as the reasons. Diouf and Baros will certainly be pushing one of my team favorites, Emil Heskey, for the second front line starting spot. But LFC’s main competition for the top place in the league, last year’s champions Arsenal and perennial world leader Manchester United hardly sat still over the summer either. Should be an exciting race if goalie Jerzy Dudek can show his first year was no fluke. And is manager Gerard Houllier completely recovered from last season’s heart troubles? Three away points Sunday against a clearly weaker team will be a very good sign.

Clancy’s Ryan is back

Red Rabbit is the new book by Tom Clancy featuring Jack Ryan, the hero of many previous Clancy novels, though this one goes back in time to 1982 and the aftermath of Patriot Games. Janet Maslin, writing in the NY Times (Clancy’s Three-Star Spy Still Fighting the Cold War), has the first in-depth review which I’ve seen. She claims to have enjoyed the book and, as a total Clancy fan, I hope to as well, but read her article for yourself and see if that attitude comes through. I’m thinking I get this one in paperback or from the library.

Either way, after this tome, there will only be one last Jack Ryan novel.

Living in a ‘certain kind’ of neighborhood

For the last four years I’ve owned a home in a kind of neighborhood called a planned unit development. More or less townhomes, we have 14 buildings with two homes in each building. The homeowners association (HOA) takes care of all exterior items (roofs, fences, outside building walls) plus the common areas (we have driveways, fencing, a large interior yard, a pool with some chairs, and a clubhouse), and a few other items (water, garbage, insurance, and such) and for this each unit pays $250 per month. There are also some fairly strict rules about living here, not about social aspects, but more along the lines of things that can’t be done outside the unit.

When one of the units is sold, under California law, the new owner must sign a declaration agreeing to abide by the rules (called the CC&Rs). Not only is the new owner supplied with a copy of the CC&Rs but also back issues of the HOA newsletter and other documentation. In other words, the buyer is well-informed as to the rules. The bigger the association (the first home I purchased, in New Jersey in 1987, was in a 440 unit HOA), the more strictly the CC&Rs are generally enforced. Small developments, such as ours, often have boards of directors that operate with more flexibility. A homeowner wants to do something a little different, comes up with a plan, and presents it to the board for approval.

For better or worse, I volunteered to serve on my HOA board back in February and was elected (technically, but since no one else wanted the job…) vice president. No big deal, meetings are only one Monday night every other month. We have a five member board and in February, one long-serving member was elected president, one person was elected to a second (one year) term, and two other residents besides me were newly elected. In June our president resigned as he’d purchased a home in Fremont and, as you might expect, the vice president–me!–was elevated to the lofty position.

While we do have some flexibility on decision-making, for the most part there are very strict rules that limit decisions. Recently, we had a request from a homeowner for the HOA to pay for the removal of a large tree that is within her patio. According to our rules, this is a homeowner responsibility. Much as we would have liked to handle it as requested, the CC&Rs would not allow this. And we are talking about a substantial amount of money, over $2,000; but look at it from the other side: that would be nearly $100 per unit for which we hadn’t budgeted. A couple of years ago, though, the flexibility allowed the Board to decide in favor of a homeowner who had requested permission to install central air conditioning (the compressor needed to be outside and therefore needed board approval).

Still, I can see how these things become political, personal, and emotional. We definitely have long-running conflicts between some of the homeowners in our little development!

In my old stomping grounds, some residents have teamed with the ACLU (Lawsuit Tests Power of Homeowner Associations) to have a court declare that HOAs “resemble a local government enough to be subject to constitutional restraints.” While the suit is filed under the New Jersey Constitution, the article indicates that if the dissident residents win, the result will eventually be felt by all associations.

Personally, I don’t get it. You buy a home in one of these places and you know upfront exactly what kind of situation you’re getting. These aren’t new, although HOAs are more widely created (by the company which develops the project initially), and the pros and cons are well-known. If that’s not your bag, and I know the constraints rub many people the wrong way, just don’t buy into one.

Getting older

Okay, I’m only 41. Many more years to go. But there are times when my memory just plays tricks on me. Twice recently (xXx and Pulp) I was writing my movie reviews and referred to previous movies by one of the actors or directors and looked up my review for the movie to include as a link. But in all cases, even though I remember writing the reviews, I can’t find any trace of them on my site. Not in the Movie Review Index, not in the site search utility, not in the database of the movie reviews, not even in the Blogger database of weblog entries (accessible only to me in the authoring page). Strange. Very strange!

Today’s movie: Pulp

Mike Hodges and Michael Caine followed up the original (that is, not the crap Sylvester Stallone remake) production of Get Carter the next year with Pulp. In Carter, Caine plays an insider looking to right a wrong but in Pulp he is the outsider trying to figure out an old puzzle. In both films, though, solving the mystery has the beneficial side effect of saving the protagonist’s skin. Caine really was a masterful actor back in the day, totally able to slip into the skin of his characters and not just playing some variant of himself in every film.

Pulp is fairly obscure and I expect the only reason I saw it was that Showtime (and HBO and Starz as well) needs more and more product to fill the ever-expanding set of channels. Tivo seems to understand that I like British crime dramas. The combination works well.

Caine plays Mickey King, a man who ran away from his wife, three children, and funeral home business to pursue his dream of writing gangster fiction (pulp) while living near the Mediterranean. He’s been successful enough (though his publisher continually credits the works to a series of double entendre pseudonyms) that a man (Hart to Hart’s Lionel Stander) has come to make him a mysterious offer: a great man, nearing the end of his life, wishes King to ghostwrite his autobiography. Someone, or some group, does not wish this book written, though, and keeps trying to kill King and the mysterious great man. All the author has to go on in uncovering his nemesis is a photo of a group of men who participated in a weekend of hunting and debauchery many years ago.

The great man is retired, reclusive movie star Preston Gilbert, played by Mickey Rooney, who lives on a great, isolated island estate (this part of the film was made on Malta and there is a good deal of sun-drenched natural beauty to be seen). Gilbert was one of the men in the photo, along with a communist-turned law and order politician whose campaign for office we are shown frequently. This politician, and others, are worried that the central story of a girl’s death during the debauchery will come out in the actor’s life story and they are determined to prevent this.

Mike Hodges, who also directed the recent Croupier, does a decent job of directing, though I give him less points for the script. This film, stylistically, is meant to be seen as in synch with the time in which it was made (1972). King is thrown into events, never able to control them, even at the end where he is laid up in bed and scared off from pursuing his story any further. There are drug-inspired bits thrown in for no plot or character-related reason, such as the sequence of taxi accidents at the beginning. And so forth.

Recommended