HOA hilarity: Stop it, the laughter is killing me

I’ve had the pleasure lately of exchanging emails with one of the members of the homeowners association (remember, I’m the Prez). The underlying issue is annoying enough but now this person is telling me that I better not send any more unprofessional emails: “DO NOT SEND ME ANY MORE OF YOUR UNPROFESSIONAL EMAILS. STOP IT, JUST STOP IT. I’ve had more than ENOUGH.”

In fact, this was my “2nd and FINAL warning” and, oh my goodness, I am so scared! I’m quaking in my boots as to the consequences if I ever send this person another UNPROFESSIONAL EMAIL. Although I do sort of wonder just what my correspondent means by unprofessional since my position is, of course, unpaid volunteer work. As far as I can glean from previous messages, I am expected to read, respect and respond to any inanity that this person sends me but my responses must not include any opinion or emotion.

In a previous email this person stated that respect must be earned. Fair enough. But then I would never be able to respond to any communications from this person seriously as this person’s behavior is so far off the wall as to induce continual laughter, to the point of tears, except when I’m thinking an ulcer is coming soon–you’ve read the email excerpt above, I’m sure you understand.

This person is, bottom line, impossible to satisfy. I’d say there are mental health issues involved except that I don’t have the education or certification to really make such a judgment. However, as an amateur I feel free to speculate. I keep wondering if this person will go far enough over the line so that I could file a lawsuit for harassment; certainly my correspondent has often used the services of lawyers in attempting to get a desired resolution but I actually prefer to go that route only if I’ve a decent chance of prevailing. Still, flights of fantasy are entertaining.

Anyway, we have a board meeting tonight, where I’m up for re-election, and I keep wondering if this person will (finally) stand up to try and take the job away from me. I doubt this member will and I know that the antics are widely known, more than enough to assure this person no chance of winning. But it would be a great laugher.