Do you hate shaving?

I know I do. Hate is such a strong word but so appropriate in this instance. When I first grew facial hair, around age 17 or 18, I didn’t even attempt to shave, just grew a beard. Curly, all over my face since I made little or no attempt to trim it. Boy did everyone hate it! Except Carol, my girlfriend during freshman year in Pittsburgh, who somehow liked it. Fortunately, no pictures exist from this period of my life.

In fact, I think if I’d been born ten years later and had some tiny little bit of aptitude for biochemistry, I would have gone into research. My subject? A chemical solution (liquid, gel, who cares which) to remove facial hair. I suppose any hair though I would personally only want it for my face. Preferably something that lasted about a week or so. What about Nair, you ask? I don’t know except that I’ve been told that it just doesn’t work for men at all or even well for women.

I do wonder why no company has ever come out with such a product. Can’t be impossible. Wouldn’t some rich person want to sponsor the research? There must be one who hates shaving as much as me. All the cuts and bruises on my face, it just sucks!