Today’s horoscope

Typically, I don’t give much creedence to the idea that the stars and planets directly influence my life. But today’s horoscope as printed in the unlinkable San Jose Mercury News is so believable that I can’t help but think it must be correct. I am fated to be hired as a fashion consultant and for those of you who know me well, you must be wondering what took so long. My friend Viv says I will be the next Versace, whoever he is. But I know! Seems so obvious. Glad that my dream will finally come true!