Alexander

Oliver Stone made this trainwreck of a movie. Colin Farrell, hair dyed blonde, stars as the ancient Macedonian boy king who conquered most of the ‘known world’ before he was 30 and then died shortly after. Angelina Jolie plays his mother, if you can believe that, as a twisted woman who couldn’t keep control of her husband. I mean, seriously, Jolie may not be exactly your taste in looks but there’s no denying she’s incredibly gorgeous and sexy and so besides being too young she’s too beautiful for the role.

What really makes this movie terrible, and I mean railspike in forehead terrible, is that Stone took what should have been an amazing, epic story and bloated it so badly that after an hour (it’s almost three) I was screaming through the Tivo program guide looking for something, anything else to watch on an early Saturday evening.

Sure, Stone stood almost firm on the homosexual relationship and Hephaistion (well-played by Jared Leto). Where the action could have popped off the screen as Alexander took on Persia and each further conquest, he kept taking the movie into slack, talky scenes. Yes, Oliver, we get the point that the other Macedonians wanted to go home and enjoy their plundered treasures but yack yack yack.

Maybe the movie got better after I changed channels; seems unlikely that I’ll ever know.
not recommended