Crossroads

First scene with Britney shows us the starlet dancing and singing along to a Madonna tune wearing only panties and a tight, barely there top, then wriggling into pajama bottoms. So we know who the target audience is for this film, no doubt. Crossroads is a poorly made piece of pop twaddle which I only watched because TS1 desired it, and I was drained after two really good NCAA semifinal games. And there was the unintentionally hilarious scene where Spears and her high school pal rent a room to finally shed their virginity.

What’s wrong with Crossroads? Just to name a few things: she drives crosscountry to meet the mother who abandoned her at age three but the confrontation lasts all of 45 seconds and avoids the actual difficult emotional interaction; in what is alleged to be her first time singing on stage, Britney belts out I Love Rock and Roll using all kinds of tricks and techniques that only a professional knows; Dan Ackroyd plays her Poppy in yet another wooden, emotionless payday performance; and, every problem encountered by anyone in the cast is solved without more than shedding a few tears, except for one medical situation, which can’t have been very hard either since the girl involved is up and bouncing around a stage a short time later.

Recommended only for ogling Ms. Spears