Having cried my eyes out over not being able to see Robin Williams in person, we decided to check out Death to Smoochy as a substitute. And what a grand substitute it is! Williams is blast-off superb here and Edward Norton shows why people are calling him a young DeNiro. As opposed to the piece of crap movie Norton was in last year with DeNiro, The Score. This film is as much about children’s television as it is about world politics, what we have is a smash up of a man crashing from the peak and another coming up from the pits, sort of a buddy-buddy, heterosexual version of A Star is Born. Lots of big charicature characters, a weasly Danny Devito, Catherine Keener freeswinging from slutty kiddie show host groupie to romantic, loving partner, Harvey Fierstein showing he’s taking advantage of all the cigarettes he’s smoked before they put him out of the game. Lots of laughs, lots of dark humor, and don’t forget the midgetslittle people.

recommended

Analyze This was sort of funny. Meet the Parents, how that was successful, much less worthy of a sequel, is beyond me. (Okay, I know the only care about the grosses and that’s why there’ll be a sequel.) But in Showtime they’ve finally found a way to really bring out Robert DeNiro’s comic touch. And the answer is…DeNiro doesn’t act funny. He doesn’t try to make the audience laugh. He plays it completely straight. And walks into lots and lots of Eddie Murphy straight lines. Plus, no offense to Ben Stiller, who is funny once in awhile, or Billy Crystal, who has been funny far more regularly, but the producers also found an excellent foil in Murphy. I was sitting in the theater laughing out loud throughout this movie.

Lately, Murphy really seems to have found his way (Shrek, Doctor Dolittle) after some initial brilliance (48 Hrs., Trading Places) and then a period wandering in the desert (Distinguished Gentleman, Harlem Nights, Vampire in Brooklyn). Rene Russo is the dead-on stereotype of a modern news producer. William Shatner continues to use his reputation as a punching bag; the bit where he shows Murphy and DeNiro how to use an eyebrow as the coup de grace in interviewing a perp is just perfect. Lawyer Johnnie Cochran does the same for his own self. DeNiro’s adopted daughter, Drena De Niro, does a sweet job as eyecandy assistant to Russo’s producer; one line even has her father asking her if she’s into a “Daddy thing.” Looking at her IMDB listing, this isn’t her first movie but most of her opportunities come in Dad’s films. Pedro Damián plays the main baddie and he understands the comic book timing perfectly.

Director Tom Dey follows up his Jackie Chan hit Shanghai Noon here and clearly Dey is a director to watch: two times at bat, two very funny movies. I assumed he was directing the currently in production Chan sequel, Shanghai Knights, but according to IMDB he’s not; David Dobkin who gave us the utterly pedestrian Clay Pigeons is helming that one. Oh well. Kudos too to writers Alfred Gough and Miles Millar, who also collaborated with Dey on Shanghai Noon. Key to their success is realizing that this is a perfect opportunity to make a cartoon, to bash all the conventions of cop movies. Think of Schwarzenneger’s Last Action Hero without the actual descent into fantasy. The main case our (of course) reluctant partners pursue is a brand new, amazingly deadly automatic chain gun. The gun is so big and so bad it can blow up police cars or level a small house with just a few rounds.

Highly recommended!

Wesley’s back and bad as ever in Blade II (2002). Kristofferson’s back too as sidekick/mentor Whistler. This sequel is nastier, bloodier, and more violent than the original. Some of the imagery is so disturbing that I wouldn’t go to see this if you’re easily upset. On the other hand, the special effects folks have come up with some cool visuals for when the vampires die, burning them to cinders. The fight scenes are somewhat repetitive and heavily influenced by The Matrix. Luke Goss is nicely nasty as the head Reaper, Leonor Varela looks good in leather and Ron Perlman, who also played a beast in TV’s Beauty and the Beast, makes a surprising but good appearance as one of the vampires (he’ll also show up at the end of the year in Star Trek: Nemesis). Not recommended unless you’re a big Snipes fan or totally into these gorefests.

The latest digital animation extravaganza, Ice Age, is entertaining, funny, and surprisingly lightweight. Two complete misfits and a bad guy with a melted heart attempt to return a baby human boy to his father as winter falls, all the other animals are headed south before the ice age freezes them solid, and a pack of tigers plot to kill the boy. The animation is top-grade, as good as anything Pixar has done yet, there’s a great deal of originality (such as the ongoing antics of the Scrat and his acorn), and the voices are good, especially Dennis Leary and John Leguizamo. Still, in the end, I was left wanting something more. The scene where we learn about Manfred Mammoth’s parents’ death at the hands of humans was a good step in this direction but not enough.

Recommended especially if you are going with kids.

Roger Moore plays Bond for the fourth time (out of seven) in 1979’s amiable, enjoyable Moonraker. 007 faces off against megalomaniac (aren’t they all?) aerospace industrialist Hugo Drax in a French estate transplanted into desert California, Venice, Rio de Janiero, and finally outer space. Drax aims to eradicate the vast masses of humanity, save for an elite, beautiful set of mostly white people he takes aboard his secret space station, who with their perfect children will repopulate an Earth ruled by a Drax dynasty. Moore is a suave, sophisticated hero, with luscious women falling into his arms in bare moments, though none really challenges him, not even the moderately attractive Lois Chiles as CIA agent/astronaut Dr. Holly Goodhead. Michael Lonsdale essays a strong, unconsciously arrogant Drax and Richard Kiel once again taunts Bond as Jaws (and yes, this is the movie in which Jaws falls in love with the petite, breastful Dolly).

More reasons why this is a good Bond: Lewis Gilbert directs for the third time, John Glen edits for the third time (and then steps up to direct the next five Bonds), and Christopher Wood does his second turn writing. Corinne Clery is luscious and too soon dead as Drax’s helicopter pilot. Q’s wrist nerve gun. Jaws turns good for his woman. Bond in Outer Space!

Recommended

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, Mark Wahlberg dreamed of being a Rock Star. He did have one hit, of course, but his music career never matched his brother’s. Now the shoe’s on the other foot as his acting career (Planet of the Apes, Perfect Storm) heats up and Donnie W. is stuck in supporting roles. But to the movie: Wahlberg plays Chris Cole, a heavy metal singer wannabe in a tribute band where he obsesses over every guitar lick and scream. The real singer in the real band comes to a parting of the ways with the group (a kind of English Van Halen, I suppose) and they reach out to Chris as his replacement. Does it work out? If you have to guess, you haven’t watched enough movies lately.

I blame director Stephen Herek mostly; Herek’s career has been all over the map as his previous directorial efforts range from 101 Dalmations to Mr. Holland’s Opus to the Eddie Murphy bomb Holy Man to Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure. But like a bad heavy metal record, the audio here was mixed down low and the guitars and drums up high, making sure we couldn’t really hear the inane dialog. Probably just as well. Jennifer Aniston plays the love interest who throws Wahlberg over after he gets too close to the rock star lifestyle for her comfort. Dominic West is not too bad in his first major role as the star guitar player who hires Wahlberg. I did really appreciate Timothy Spall as the band’s road manager as he really plays the voice of cold hard reality for Wahlberg.

Not recommended

Finding ourselves free this afternoon, we took advantage of the matinee prices to see the latest big screen version of Alexander Dumas’ The Count of Monte Cristo; IMDB lists at least six previous films with this title. Jim Caviezel, Guy Pearce, and Dagmara Dominczyk (new hottie alert) are all strong in one of the oldest love triangles in literature. I also liked Michael Wincott as the warden Dorleac, he reminded me of a Michael Des Barre who could actually act, and Richard Harris as Dantes’ prison mentor. Jay Wolpert (screenplay) and Kevin Reynolds (direction) give us a nicely paced, visually attractive film with Reynolds definitely moving up in class after previously specializing in Kevin Costner bombs–Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves and especially Waterworld.

Recommended

To some, this is the ultimate James Bond film but to others a complete throwaway. I tend more to the former view. Australian actor George Lazenby makes his only appearance as 007 after a less than ecstatic public reaction to his replacing Sean Connery; Connery returned one more time in Bond 8, Diamonds are Forever. I thought he did quite well, certainly a better Bond than Timothy Dalton and probably as good as Roger Moore. Diana Riggs as the main Bond Girl was terrific and the plot joining Bond with her underworld boss dad against SMERSH and Telly Savalas’ Blofeld surprising and creative. Savalas, of course, has no problem playing the nasty bad guy. The DVD also has a couple of interesting short pieces including one that explains how the crew captured the exciting ski chase scene by suspending a cameraman from a helicopter. For unknown reasons ABC is not showing this movie as part of The Bond Show, even though they have the rights for it. So do as we did and go out and rent it.

recommended